


My Boy Potter

by BowDawn



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, marauders harry potter
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Hogwarts, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Not Canon Compliant, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-01-16 13:59:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 38,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18522973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BowDawn/pseuds/BowDawn
Summary: Lily Evans knew one thing as a fourteen year old Hogwarts student: that she didn't hate James Potter. No. She knew she had a crush on him. And she soon finds out that he also had a crush on her.





	1. Chapter 1

It starts shortly after the summer, when she went back to school for her fourth year.  
Lily couldn't keep her eyes off Potter. Sure he has always been cute, she could give him that. But he has always been a bit annoying. Or at least, that's what she thought. Because looking at him, with that boyish grin, that messy hair aggravated by brushing his fingers every so often, she just… couldn't remember what made him so annoying before.  
She knew what it was, though. It was the lack of constant complaining from Sev's part. That last summer they didn't spend so much time together. She thought she would have missed it, but she felt fine.  
Mary stayed in town, like her, and they went out more than a couple of times. The rest of her vacation Lily spent doing homework and reading as many books as she could, since she knew once school started, too many things would get in the way.  
She and Severus didn't have that much in common anymore. The thing that made them bond was magic and that slowly stopped being a connection point for them as school progressed. Sure, they both liked Potions. But friendship needed more than a shared love for a subject. They simply drifted apart.  
And if she could be completely honest, he was starting to get on her nerves. He refused to hang out if it wasn’t just the two of them and apparently no one was good enough to be her friend. Even the constantly bad mouthing about Petunia was starting to irritate her, it’s true that she could act like a major wanker most of the time, but Lily would prefer to be the one leading the conversations instead of listening to it.  
And then there was the thing that really set her off: his friends.  
She saw nothing that gave her concern about Sev making friends within his house. She had done it too. But what were jokes in the beginning had now started to grow malice, and Severus… well, didn't seem or want to realize that it was getting uglier.  
"Potter does much worst." He would say. Which always stroke as funny to Lily, because it was never the gryffindor boys do much worst but Potter does.  
The girls told her last term that they thought Severus liked her a little more than friends do. And that didn't go too well with Lily. She had no idea how to follow with that information, other than observe if it could be true or not. She felt that his feelings were more platonic than anything else. She couldn't see them together, they've known each other for too long and they were just friends, of course. Or at least they were trying to be, as she was finding harder and harder each day.  
So, when summer was over and they went back to school, seeing Potter with his tan, an inch taller growth, and that grin that would never leave his lips... did things to her. Things she had no idea what to do with, only to keep it in her head.  
The girls didn't take long to notice though, always teasing her, saying that she blushes whenever he walked by and winked at them. That she should just snog him on a broom cupboard already.  
Severus took notice as well. And that was more complicated to deal with. What before was just Sev being Sev annoyed by a group that he had rivalry to. Now... now it was like he wanted her to leave Gryffindor house altogether and find a new place to be. So the little time they spent together was lessing by the minute.  
Because sure, she couldn’t admit she had a crush on James Potter. She wouldn't say it out loud to anyone ever. However she enjoyed him tremendously. Specially on quidditch matches, where she could just look at him without shame because he was the best player. Soon to be Captain, as everyone was guessing.  
So when the year started to roll, summer was long gone, and Christmas was right around the corner. Lily didn't felt surprised when one night, after spending long hours at her favourite classroom to do homework, James Potter bangs the door open, closes really fast and just tries to catch his breath. She got used to his beshelveling presence, even if they barely talked.  
He took a while to realize she was there, but when he did she saw that red was starting to spread from his neck to his cheeks. He was even more endearing when caught by surprise.  
They didn't really chatted besides when all of their friends would get together for a housewarming game. So Potter sat in one of the chairs and kept looking at her from the corner of his eyes every now and then.  
Lily found it hard to focus on the roll in front of her with her heart beating on her ears. She focused to keep her quill moving whilst imagining them sitting down by the lake just chatting and a lot of touch involving and managed to complete her paper. When she was about to leave the room, Potter also stood up, as if to walk out with her, only to find the door jammed shut.  
"What's wrong?" Lily heard his voice in her ears. She didn't realized they were that close.  
"The door won't open".  
Potter made a movement to get his wand when Lily beat him.  
"Alohomora." She casted.  
The door was still closed.  
"Alohomora." Said Potter behind her.  
"I just tried that, didn't you see?" She asked him annoyed.  
"I did, but -"  
"Do tell me, almighty grace, why my spell wouldn't have worked in the first time, but yours might?" She turned to look at him. She hated when people would think less of her magic, like her spells wouldn't work.  
"I didn't cast the spell directly at the knob, but at the hinges, to lose them. Didn't work as well."  
Lily turned to look at the door one more time.  
"Why isn't it opening? I've never seen a door that won't budge under alohomora."  
"There may be a spell that locks the door shut to whoever is inside it, only to be open by the outside. I had no trouble coming in. Did you leave the room at all at some point?"  
"No I was here the whole time doing my essay. Who were you running from by the way?"  
"Who said I was running from anyone?" He had circled her to be in front of her. A grin in his face.  
"The way you banged your presence inside this classroom should say enough." Lily crossed her arms, trying hard not to notice the shine of his eyes. She never noticed they had a golden cast on them.  
"Oh, ah. Well I may have done something and Filch may have heard it because Peeves may have yelled for the whole school to know."  
"So you came running inside this classroom instead of going back to the common room? Where Filch couldn't prove you weren't there before?"  
"Didn't really thought on that part. You should hang more with us, putting you and Remus' brains together we would master the whole school."  
"I'm sure your gang has enough people as it is. My concern at the moment is getting out of this classroom."  
She tried to get closer to the door, when she felt two hands holding her shoulders. A hot unbearable flush came from the core of her stomach to her cheeks as she felt his touch. Damn her red haired genes.  
"Maybe magic isn't the case for this door. You may wanna step aside."  
"What are you planning - " She didn't finished her sentence though. As a wild boy gave a few steps behind and rushed towards the door.  
He fell as soon as his body made contact.  
"What an idiot." She said but started to laugh.  
"Oi I'm in pain right now!" Potter was crawled at the floor, holding his shoulder with his hands.  
"Did you honestly thought that plain force would open it?" She asked amused, walking slowly to stand at his feet.  
"Couldn't hurt trying, right?"  
"Only it clearly did." Even with him being a moron, Lily couldn't get enough of this boy. She notice they were smiling at each other.  
"I'm fine." He suddenly jumped to back up. "Look, see? Not a scratch!"  
She gave him a half laugh in reply. "Move along I wanna try something."  
Potter stepped aside for her.  
"Maybe you should come stand behind me."  
"What on Merlin's pants are you gonna do?" He was massaging his shoulder as he walked by her.  
"Bombarda." Lily casted straight to the middle of the door. Nothing happened, but Potter gasped.  
"Bloody hell, Evans, I didn't know you had it in you!"  
"Is not really about having in me or not, I wanted to see if the door could stand with that spell. And of course it bloody is! Now we're stuck in here until something happens and the door will not bloody open."  
"Didn't you thought about how much trouble you would have been if that spell actually worked?"  
He continued, completely missing the point.  
"What part of we're stuck in here didn't you understand?"  
"Oh no part at all. I'm just not don't seem to mind it so much being stuck in here." He flashed her another grin.  
"Clearly."  
As the time passed, panic suddenly rushed all over her. She started walking from one side to another, thinking about all the horrors it could happen if they were indeed really stuck in there.  
"Of course we are stuck in here, dumbass, didn't you just tried to explode the door and that did nothing to it?" She talked to herself. "What am I supposed to do now?"  
"Hum… Evans, are you okay?" She had momentarily forgotten about the boy in the room.  
"Oh just peachy!"  
"You do realized you were talking out loud, to yourself, right?"  
Lily in fact, didn't have.  
Several awkward silences followed until one of them cracked. Lily wouldn’t be able to recall later who talked first but soon enough they were chatting about anything and everything. They talked about their mates, and what they were up to. He mentioned Sirius way too much in his stories. Lily complained way too much about her sister. They chatted so much, Lily didn't realized they ended up sitting on the ground, on top of James' cloak, no shoes on. From time to time, one of them would try the door again but it remained strong.  
It occurred to Lily she should be worrying about how late it was. And that she still needed to take a shower and wash her hair before bed. However as the time past and they talked and talked, she learnt that she didn't really care.  
They kept smiling at each other. Like loons.  
"What do you mean you never been to the kitchens?" Potter asked her.  
"Never really had a reason to go there. Plenty of food on the Great Hall!" She laughed. "Besides I'm never starving like you boys seem to be all the time."  
"Of course we are starving half of the time. Did you know how much work it takes to make the whole Library's hall gets darker as you walk towards the door?"  
"I knew it was you guys! Mary didn't wanna go to the Library for days because she couldn't see where she was going."  
"Bullocks, she should have guessed that it was going to be the darkest by the door."  
"As if people would noticed when the dark become darker." She kept looking at his hair, thinking if brushing her fingers through it would feel as soft as it looked.  
"I heard that Mcmillain banged his head at the door at least three times." Lily did know for a fact that it was four times, but he didn't need to know about that.  
"Don't laugh, someone could have got hurt!"  
"You say don't laugh, but you know that that wanker deserved. Did you heard what he did to Goldeling? Yelled at the middle of Binns' class that he didn't wanna be with her anymore!"  
"Poor Samantha. But she got the last laugh. Ryan was walking around with a warts on his nose for a least a week."  
"I can say that after Gryffindors, I think Ravenclaws could take the House Cup."  
"Oh I think Hufflepuff deserves to win as well."  
"So you like Hufflepuffs?"  
He asked, going shy all the sudden.  
"Sure, they seem nice and sweet to everyone."  
"Do you have someone specific that you like?" He wasn't looking at her.  
"Not anyone that comes to mind."  
She realized they were pretty close to each other. He looked at her eyes as if trying to ask something.  
"So, your sister. She doesn't like you coming here?"  
His unexpected change of the subject pulled Lily back to reality.  
She wasn't super open about her relationship with her sister. The girls all knew about it as well as Severus. But Lily couldn't help herself in wanting to talk with James.  
"No. She is a muggle and when my letter from Hogwarts came, she was appalled with the idea of having a school for magic. Not at once of course. But as the years passed. Eventually she and I grew distant."  
"I'm sorry that you can't get along with her now. Do you think in the future you two can get close?"  
"I doubt it. And I try not to really think about it much. You know, it used to hurt a lot. Not having her by my side. We were so tight to the bone when we were kids."  
"I get it, I could never imagine stop talking to Sirius, nor Remus and Peter."  
"Don't you have any siblings?"  
"No, just me. My family is only a few people really. Mum and dad were older than usual when they had me."  
"Oh, that must be lonely."  
"It does sounds like it, doesn't it? But my parents let me do pretty much anything I wanted to do. Boredom wasn't a problem then."  
"That actually explain a lot." She giggled.  
"Does it now?"  
They were smiling at each other when he surprised her.  
"Why did you said no when Fenwick asked you to go to Hogsmeade?"  
She once again felt her face burning hot. She surely couldn't tell the reason, could she?  
But he continued. "I know it's an indelicate question, but I'm too curious."  
"Indelicate wasn't a word I've ever expected to see you use." She tried to change the subject.  
"I know that I can come off as a git sometimes, but I care about my mates."  
"Oh, so I'm your mate?" She couldn't explain the feeling that washed over her. Being friends with James Potter should thrilled her, however Lily wanted more than just be friends, even if she was hiding from him, and as much as she could possible, herself.  
"I mean, we are both Gryffindors and of the same year. We always play Exploding Snap when it's a saturday night and no one wants to do homework. So yeah, we may not be the best friends, but we can be mates, can't we? Lily thought that she could see a nervous tick on the boy in front of her.  
"And do you always pester your mates about who they might date or not?" The words flew through her mouth without letting Lily have a second thought.  
She was suppose to divert the conversation, not go back with the topic that could make her tell something she wasn't ready.  
Wouldn't be ready.  
Maybe, if he continue to look at her like a puppy.  
"Being completely honest here, no, I could care less about who any of my mates dates, as long as they're not boring or Slytherins." He said. Lily thought she could see him hiding something though.  
"Fenwick is neither of those, so why should you care if we date or not."  
"It's just -" He paused and took a deep breath. Lily could feel the hair of her bangs moving as he let the air out. "It's just he is a nice bloke, right? I heard enough girls saying that to know. But you said no to him, so I was wondering if maybe you have feeling for someone else." She closed her eyes as she knew he could see her flush. "Someone closer to you." He sounded almost wounded.  
And her heart sank, suddenly she knew who he meant. "I don't have feelings for Severus, if that's what you're asking." Once she realized how she put it, she tried to make amends. "Not that would be any problem!"  
He back up a little bit as she said it. "I mean, no, no, no. No. I mean. Sure, I can't stand the guy, and he is a Slytherin, I can't make you stop liking a person can I?"  
"No. I don't think no one can."  
"So, why did you say no to Fenwick?"  
She sighed. He wasn't going to give up. It wasn't so much the annoyance that troubled her, but the fact that should would rather drop the topic.  
"Because I don't fancy him like that." She said that looking right into his eyes.  
"Oh."  
She caught herself being transfixed by the golden she saw before, so much that she barely heard him.  
"Can I kiss you?"  
It took her a moment to processed his words, but at last she nodded, and their lips touched. It was sweet and gentle. He held her face near his, like he was holding something made of crystal. Too frail to not care.  
It was her first kiss.  
When his tongue touched her bottom lip, she let her instincts take over. It was messy, they bumped their teeth way too much, their noses kept getting in the way, and his glasses would certainly be more crooked once they were done.  
It was the click on the door that broke them apart. Filch was the one to open it, and both were earned with detentions.

The walk to the Gryffindor Tour was silent between the two of them. Lily could still feel the numbness of her lips after their kiss, and wondering if they'll ever would do that again.  
Even if she was over the moon, she wanted to keep this night to herself. Not that she was managing to do so.  
"Lily, what's up with you? You won't stop smiling." Mary asked her.  
"Oh Mary, it's nothing, I'm just happy, that's it."  
"Sure, just happy. You look like you shagged somebody." Marlene piped in.  
Lily actually gasped. "Shagged? Marlene I'm fourteen!"  
"So? You can shag someone at that age." Marlene said with a grin.  
"Well, true, there are people that do have sex earlier on their lives. I'd just like to wait a bit."  
"Besides, Lils would need to snog someone first!" Mary slided her arse down Lily's bed.  
"Oh, I'm not so sure. Look how her lips are swollen." Marlene's grin kept growing.  
And Lily could feel her blushing. Both girls started laugh immediately.  
"So who was the guy?" Mary asked.  
"There was no guy." Lily was debating if she hid her face on her pillow would prevent his conversation going any further.  
"Oh, so it was a girl? We're okay with that you know." Lily felt Marlene sitting down next to her.  
"No! No. I meant, there wasn't anybody." Lily was staring at a spot on the ceiling, refusing to look at the girls.  
"Oh come on Lily. I told you when I kissed Ramon! And we all know he is Ramon..." Mary poked her in her legs.  
After a silence with the two girls staring at her. Lily murmured his name.  
"ItwasPotter."  
"What?" They both asked.  
"JamesPotter." Lily murmured again.  
"I'm sorry love, we didn't catch it." Marlene brushed Lily's hair behind her ear.  
"I said," she started to get annoyed "James Potter." she ended almost yelling.  
That was a pregnant pause between the three girls, until Mary and Marlene both screamed and started to jump on Lily's mattress.  
"Oh I knew it. I knew it!" Mary was shaking Lily's body with her arms.  
"You guys are so cute together, Lils! And Potter is so nice!" Marlene said, and Lily knew that Marlene knew Potter the best, as they both were on the Gryffindor team.  
"Stop you two, it was just a kiss." But even as she said it, Lily wouldn't stop smiling.  
The girls screamed again, jumping some more.  
"How did it happen?" Mary asked, settling down once again.  
And Lily told them an abbreviated version of the tale, while Marlene did her usual commentaring.  
She told them about the door being jammed.  
_"Never heard of that."_  
And how James was an idiot from trying to open with his shoulder.  
_"A cute gallant idiot that you just snogged."_  
How they started to talk not even realizing what they were really doing.  
_"Blind with lust, the both of you."_  
And how James, -  
_"She called him James, Mary."_  
How James kept bugging her about who she liked.  
_"She likes you, dumbass."_  
And at last how James asked if he could kiss her.  
_"He actually asked? Oh that's very gallant indeed."_  
Lily felt amazing telling the story. It was all very romantic. And in that night, when all is done and Lily can finally sleep, she thought about the boy with messy hair and glasses.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new friendship is flourishing while another is falling.

When the Christmas Holiday came, Lily received his first letter. A big brown owl entered her kitchen windows as her family ate breakfast.

"Ugh, take that insanitary beast out of the house." Petunia said distastefully.

Lily recognized Quaffle immediately. She loved that owl. She was so magnificent. Even if her owner was an idiot naming her.

 

_ Evans, _

_ Merry Christmas! _

_ I don't know really what to write, I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas. _

_ The boys and I were supposed to be at school this year, but Remus mum decided she wanted him at home. Peter was already planning to go see his family. Then my mum invited Sirius to stay at my house, so here we are. _

_ We played a bit of Quidditch, but mostly we eat. _

_ What are you doing during these days? I know your sister can be a bit dense sometimes… Have you done our assignments already? I'm refusing to look at them until the trip back to Hogwarts. But Sirius had an idea to play on the train, so I may have to reconsider that decision. _

_ Sirius has done his already, can you believe in that? The betrayal of my best mate who didn't wait for me is too hard for me to bear. _

_ So do be so kind and write me back, so I can have a least one last happy moment. _

_ I did said Quaffle to relax a bit in your house, as the weather is awful lately. You don't mind do you? I've feed her right before leaving, but if you have some owls treats you may give her some. _

_ Potter. _

 

She read the letter at least three times before imagining jumping and squealing like a mad woman. She wish she could held the letter close to her chess as she did so. But she was in front of her family, so she needed to play it cool. Merlin's she was a loony.

"Did something happened darling? You have a funny face on." Her dear mother asked.

"Oh no, just a friend asking about the homework we have." Technically she wasn't lying.

"Best to write it back at once then." Her father said pragmatically. Barely did he know…

"Right." She extended her arm "Come along Quaffle, let me show you my room." The owl flew to her arm and let Lily pet her as they went.

 

Lily had every intention to write back to him, she was just too excited to do it now. She didn't wanted to sound too eager in her writing. 

So, when Petunia left for Vernon's and her parents decided to take that moment to do a one last Christmas shopping, Lily rushed to the kitchen to call Mary.

"Hey Lily beans, how are you flower?" Lily hated when people called her flower, expecting people to be at least creative with endearments.

"I'm not the point today Mary. James just wrote me a letter and I'm too fidgeted to write him back." She said it quickly.

"Woah woah woah. Calm down!"  

"I can't calm down, I need to figure this out before my parents are back home. The last thing I need is them listening to me talking about a boy."

"Okay, read me the letter then." She said with a nonchalant tone.

"Ugh, hang on, let me get the letter." Lily run upstairs and read it's contents to Mary on the phone.

"Why are you freaking out Lily? That's a mate's letter!"

"Mate's letter?"

"Yes! He wrote to a mate."

"I'm not his mate!"

"Well, don't you want to be friends with your boyfriend?"

"He is not my boyfriend, Mary."

"Yet." Lily could hear Mary taking a deep breath. "Look, he asked you a bunch of bollocks on the letter, you reply to those and tell something else to continue the conversation. Stop complicating the matter." She could hear her smile growing as she said it.

"Stop smiling you arse! And I'm not complicating anything."

"Sure you are. I get it, he is cute and you like him. No need to act like a in love teenager."

Lily gasped. "I'm not in love. I just appreciate him." She made a pause. "From time to time."

"Two galleons you fall in love you him within an year." Mary sounded triumphant.

"Fine. Next Christmas we check on that."

"I will tell Marlene about it, and include her on the bet."

"Do it, more money to me."

"Oh Lils... " Lily heard the key turning in the front door.

"Parents are home love, call you later?"

"If you're not too busy with Potter snogging him on the holidays, sure."

"You fucking idiot." Lily whispered.

"You love me."

"Yeah yeah."

Lily ended the call just in time for her mother to enter the kitchen. "Who was it dear?"

"Oh just Mary, you know, school stuff." Lily replied.

"I swear to God, you're barely a week apart and you and your friends won't stop talking to one another."

"Oh Grace, don't bother the girl. I'm sure they just miss each other. They are used to being together all the time."

"I guess is true." Her mother started to make some tea. "In the meantime Lils, can you give me a hand later for dinner?"

"Sure, I just have to finish an essay, is that alright?" 

"Yes dear, go on now, I want you here as soon as you can."

 

Lily rushed to her room where she found Quaffle sleeping on top of her bed stand. 

"Cute girl, don't poop on my pillow." She murmured to the owl.

She read the letter one more time because sitting down and writing what she felt it was a good reply.

 

_ Potter, _

_ Merry Christmas for you too. And for Sirius, since he is there. _

_ I have to say I was a bit surprised when your owl flew on my kitchen without any notice. I won't complain because Quaffle is adorable, and very welcome to this house. _

_ Wouldn't say as much for you, as I still think Quaffle is an awful name for such beautiful creature. _

_ Don't you guys have other things to do than to play Quidditch? Also don't your arse hurts from sitting for so long on a broom? I've always wondering that, maybe I should ask Marlene… _

_ As for me, I'm not much to anything really. I've done some homework here and there, but mostly watched a lot of telly. Have you ever seen a telly? It's wonderful, I really wished Hogwarts would allow us to have at least one at the common rooms. I'm sure people would fight to decide what to watch.  _

_ I'm also reading some novels I got as presents. They're the best kind of present, honestly. What about you? Did you get anything exciting? _

_ Oh and my sister is charming as ever. She is spending quite a lot of time with her new boyfriend, so I get to have some peace and quiet. It's been nice. _

_ Please, don't tell me you lot will do a terrible prank at the train. If I ask nicely will you not do it? I'd like to keep my peace and quiet for a little longer. _

_ And who would have guessed Sirius would be such a nerd. Please do say that to him. That he is a nerd. Finishing the assignments before anybody else. Mcgonagall would be proud. Do you reckon is true that Sirius had a crush on her? I heard a rumour once… _

_ You should stop being dramatic though. I would have replied otherwise. _

_ L. Evans. _

 

That's how Lily spent the rest of her holiday. Reading and writing letters to James Potter. They didn't talk everyday as Quaffle would get too tired and Lily herself didn't own an owl. So they wrote to each other every couple of days. It was nice to talk to him.

Marlene said they were acting too much like a couple without even going on a date. And even though Lily could feel the same, she also disagree.

"We're just talking about nonsense most of the time." She told Quaffle one afternoon. Indignated her friends would think they were already a couple.

Her mother seemed to realized something was going on as well.

"That owl is living under our roof now. I knew you said you didn't want us to buy you one, but I have to say it's nice to have her here. She is so pretty." She told her.

"She is behaving explendly comparing to what she usually is." She told her.

"How so?"

"Oh she is just a little devil sometimes, always lending on Potter's hair in the Great Hall."

"Isn't Potter that boy that you used to complain about it?"

Lily graced Merlin's for being with her back to her mum. "Oh, that's him alright."

"So is he still annoying you and Severus?"

"Not as much." She could feel her flush on her cheeks and was refusing to turn so face her mum.

"The owl then, is it his?"

Lily didn't know what to say to her. Mostly because she knew what would happen if she confirmed. Her mother would assume things, and everything would have a run out of scale.

Petunia for the first time saved her. "Muuuum." She yelled. "What happened to my pink sweater?"

Her mother sighed. "Is washing my dear, like you asked me." She yelled back. "Lils -"

"But I need it to meet Vernon." Petunia appeared at the kitchens doorway.

"Well, is washing, what can I do? I can't magically make it clean." Her mother replied. Petunia grunted and left to her room. 

Lily took her opportunity and follow her up. 

 

When she was on the train going back at Hogwarts, the girls did an acquirement about all the letters.

"Did you keep them?" Mary asked.

"I don't know why you guys are so interesting about it."

"Oh come out of it, two weeks you two been apart, and you talked more than we three usually talk!" Marlene said outraged.

"No we did not." Lily crossed her arms in front of her. Refusing to admit that they might be right.

"Just show us the letters, come on." Mary insisted.

"They are personal Mary." Lily said.

"Did you guys talked about your kiss?" Marlene asked.

"No!" Lily could feel her cheeks burning. "Stop you two, we just talked. Like normal human beings."

"Sure, whatever. Show us the letters." Marlene tried to uncrossed Lily's arms.

"Will you two stop if I showed you?"

"Yes." They said in unity.

"Will you not ask him anything from those letters?"

"Yes."

She took a deep breath.

"Come on, show us already." Marlene said impatiently.

Lily had her letter in her school bag. After both girls read the letters and said every comment they could possibly think, the three of them sat happily on their compartment guessing what would those letters mean.

"He fancies you." Marlene said. "That's for sure."

"I don't know about it, what concerns me is that he can be a bit of an idiot sometimes you know." Lily said.

"And?" Said Mary. "He is a teenage boy, of course he will act like an idiot."

"Not all boys have to cause that much trouble in school. And he even hexes people just for the sake of a laugh."

"We all hex people Lils." Piped Marlene. "Sure, we don't do it because we're bored, but tons of boys do worst things."

"Yeah, besides, he is really sweet sometimes. Remember last year when that first year, Nicole I think, was crying because she didn't understand that assignment from Mcgonagall? He was the one who sat down with her in the common room until she got it." Mary remind them.

"True. Besides, no fourteen year old boy will act like a gentleman, but James does it sometimes. Have you notice?" Marlene said. "That's because his parents are older and raised him to be super posh. He is an idiot and posh. You will never be bored with him."

"Well, I'm just talking to him, is not like we're a couple or anything. And he is nice. But he is annoying too."

"All boys are annoying at some point." Mary told them. "Remember last year, headboy Frank Longbottom?  Refusing to let Alice deal with most head duties. She had to hex her own boyfriend to let her do the things along him."

"Ah, the good old days I could see Frank's arse around the castle." Marlene said dreamily. 

"Marls, you're disgusting sometimes." Mary said.

"Oi, he has a great arse! I'm trying to find another boy with a good arse to look at but the only one I could find so far was Avery and I refuse to like any racist arse."

"Yes to objectifying men but keeping your principles." Lily said.

"They do it with us, only fair to do it with them." Marlene said crossing her arms.

The door of their compartment suddenly opened, revealing James Potter and Sirius Black.

"Ladies." Said Sirius with a grin.

"Hi Lily." Said James looking at Lily.

"Hi to you too James." Said Marlene indignantly.

He flashed her a smile but turned to look again at Lily 

"You may want to open your window and leave the door closed." The boy said.

"Why?" Lily asked already guessing why.

"Because you may want to see something on the corridor and mist it." Said Sirius.

Marlene's eyebrows went to her hairline. "What in the bloody -"

But at that an explosion sound banged.

"Please tell me you didn't do it." Lily said looking at James.

"I could tell you I didn't do it Evans, but does it really means I didn't?" He replied to her. "Gotta go."

And with that both boys closed their door and disappeared on the fog.

"We better open the window, the fog is actually getting inside." Mary said.

 

When Lily finally arrived at Hogwarts she got to see Severus who stayed behind.

"It was unfortunate that you couldn't stayed with me this time." He said.

"Yeah, but I missed my family." She understood that he was lonely at this time of year, specially how is family was so dysfunctional. However Lily realized in the past year that she couldn't live her life in favor of someone. Doesn't matter how much she cared for them.

"I heard that Potter did a prank on the train. He and his friends are such wankers. Thinking they can do whatever they want." He said meanly. 

"It was actually a pretty harmless prank." Lily said growing annoyed at the boy.

Severus gaped at her incredulous.

"What, are you two friends now?" Lily could see he was trying to held his anger.

This made her very annoyed.

"We are of the same house." She said.

"I don't see you fraternizing with Black or that hideous Lupin!" The distaste of his voice was clear.

"Firstly, I do hang all with all the Gryffindor boys of our year. Second, Remus is nothing but kind, so you better shut it." She crossed her arms and stood up from the bench they were sitting on the corridor of potion's classroom.

"I expected better from you Lily." He said. "They're all idiots and bullies."

"I do recall telling you countless times that your friends play with magic that shouldn't be messed with. So don't play saint to me." She couldn't handle this anymore so she left.

She knew better than to lose her temper, specially with Severus. As he would probably react very badly later, however it was incredible to her that he couldn't see what was wrong with his friends even though he could see what was wrong with hers.

 

The following week passed too fast to Lily and in one late night at the library, she saw a paper flying up to her table, and falling on top of her ancient runes book.

It was clearly a letter. Addressed to her. 

She looked around and saw James sitting a couple of tables in front of hers. He threw a wink at her with a grin, then went back to whatever he was reading.

"Oh do tell me this is what I think it is." Marlene whispered.

"What?" Mary haven't notice the letter yet.

Lily shoot them both a look and opened the letter.

 

_ Evans, _

_ You got me used to your letters. _

_ As I realized that we didn't really hang out as I'd liked to, I thought maybe we should continue with them. _

_ What do you say? Would you like to be my pen pal? Even if we do live under the same roof. (Sadly not the same ceiling, as I would love to see you hexing Sirius everytime he crosses the line on sharing living spaces. That boy honestly, has no limits). _

_ What was I saying? Oh yes, I think we should continue with our letters, even though Peter says it makes more sense for us to talk, but what's the fun of that? _

_ Actually, now that I think of it, it does have a lot that can described as fun, however I'm positive we can make this even more fun. _

_ So can I count on you? _

_ Potter. _

 

Lily smiled reading the letter and took no time writing a reply.

"What did he said?" Mary asked.

"Shiu. Let me think for a minute."

 

_ Potter, _

_ This week has been ultimate shit. _

_ I miss my telly! I miss my books. And I know those are just a few inches away from me because I obviously brought them with me, but I'm doing a really boring runes essay and questioning myself if I should drop the subject.  _

_ It is dead interesting.  _

_ A girl must do what a girl must do. Isn't that right? _

_ My sister was the one who took me to the station. Dad wants her to practice driving more. I think he probably knows she and Vernon are in for the long term and knows that she must learn these things now before her future husband (eeew) decides that driving is not a thing for ladies. _

_ Yes, he does lives in the past. I don't honestly understand what my sister sees in him. That and he looks like a walrus. _

_ I shouldn't have said that, poor creatures shouldn't be compared to a  _ _ Vermin _ _.  _

_ I actually can't wait to turn eighteen. I want to take my driver's lesson just as much as I wanna learn how to apparate. Do you think that's weird? A witch that can fly or vanish from thin air, also drives a Ford? (That's a car's brand by the way). I just find it relaxing imagining myself behind the wheels, with the radio playing, probably bewitched to our stations, driving through the sceneries of England. _

_ I think even the Queen would like to drive. Do you know about our monarch? The muggle one I mean. _

_ Anyway, Mary and Marls are both giving me weird looks, and I think I wrote enough. _

_ To answer your question: yes, being pen pal would be fun. _

_ L. Evans. _

 

_ P.S. I would NEVER live under the same ceilings as Sirius, I do enjoy my peace and quiet, remember? _

 

When Lily was done Marlene snatched both letters from her hands for her and Mary to read.

"And you say he doesn't fancy you. Look at this love letter." Marlene whispered shaking both letters on the air towards Lily's face.

"Is not a love letter, we're just pen pals."

"My arse." Marls said.

"Don't you think is quite romantic Lils?" Mary asked.

Indeed Lily did find it romantic, but she also knew that they were just mates writing letters. They still haven't talk about their kiss for Merlin' sake.

"Someone will be snogging someone in the near future." Marlene said giving Lily back her letters.

Lily didn't bother to answer her, she could snog him in the future. Who are they to care? But alas, her red haired genes made impossible for her flush to not make an entrance.

When they finally were leaving the library, Lily dropped the letter in front of James and continue to walk with the girls.

 

January followed like that. With Lily and James writing letters to one another. They didn't talk about that night in the classroom. And Lily couldn't miss the pain in her heart in thinking that maybe he just saw her as a friend.

She also knew that at least she was getting to know him. She could be his friend. She just needed to get used to.

_ "Friends don't keep writing letters to one another during classes Lily." Mary would say. _

_ "Do you want me to ask him about it at practice?" And Marlene would ask. _

Lily felt that they just needed time. And also, she liked what they had at the moment. As she was still accepting the crush she has on him, after years claiming him an arrogant not worth her time. Merlin's, the things she did to keep her friendship with Sevs intact.

Severus on the other hand, had no idea this was going on. Lily wouldn't hide from anyone about the letters, but she refused to acknowledge them to Severus, as she knew how he would react and she really did not want deal with him.

When her birthday on January 30th arrived Lily got a few owls on the Great Hall. Including one from James.

 

_ Evans, _

_ Happy Birthday! Can't believe you're turning fifteen! How does it feel getting this old? It must be dreadful.  _

_ Since I cannot provide you with any wisdom, as I myself am an young boy still in his youth (for only a couple of months, I might add) I asked Sirius to contribute on this part of the lette- _

 

There was a stain on the last word that looked like someone had picked the paper without the other person finished. Lily knew who has done it immediately, as Sirius handwriting took over.

 

**_Alright Evans. I'm here for business. My boy Jamie here, has allowed me-_ **

_ You can't call me Jamie, Sirius. Only my parents get away with it. _

**_Will you stop? I'm here for Evans, not you! Anyway… James wants us to start a new letter, as he ruined it. Yes you did you bloo-_ **

_ I'm so sorry Evans for you to have seen us acting like this, as you know I'm quite civil. But Sirius is an animal who refus- _

**_I'm writing this goddamn letter! Going back to my point. Sorry about the slashy handwritings, but you're welcome for the entertainment. As for "wisdom" I would say, as a fifteen years old man myself, is for you to enjoy life. Take that firewhiskey shot, who are you to care if it's illegal for minors yet? Have fun! Don't worry too much about things, just fucking do it whatever you want. Snog a lot. Shag when you feel is rig-_ **

_ Okay I'm taking over this letter as my friend here is going on a row here about things I know you wouldn't appreciate. He doesn't have the same refinement as we do. _

_ Remus and Peter also wish you a happy birthday.  _

_ Oh and please don't be mad. _

_ Potter. _

 

As she finished the letter she saw several owls carrying a giant cake that could easily be the size of the Gryffindors table. It was huge! With glance on top of it that could be read: 

_ Happy Birthday Ellen _

"I told the house elves to write Happy birthday Evans, but I guessed they didn't get that." James was right behind her, with his hands on his pockets and the three remaining members of their boyband.

"It's quite lovely."

"It's a carrot cake." Sirius said clasping James shoulder from behind. "Remember first year when he used to call you carrots? Seems appropriate." He flashed her a grin.

"Thank you." She said, looking at James. "I'm not mad by the way, just, wondering how are we going to eat that much cake."

James smiled at her but before he could reply, Dumbledore had stood up from his chair and cleared his throat. Lily noticed how everyone from the other tables were standing up to see the cake. The Gryffindors weren't letting anyone touch it until  _ Ellen _ cuts the first slide.

"Very well. Ellen, happy birthday my dear. I think is time for cake now." And with a fluid hand movement the cake was cut into hundreds of pieces and each slice flew slowly for a plate.

Soon the whole Hall was eating plenty of cake.

 

When February came so did a new Quidditch match. Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff. On that saturday morning Lily woke up with an owl scratching her window. It was Quaffle.

"Hey girl. Doesn't your human let you sleep?" The creature stretched her leg to Lily as if saying 'Come on, take it'.

And then Lily was back in bed, while the other girls were still sleep.

 

_ Evans, _

_ Hi. I know it's early. I'm sorry. I'm always a bit anxious on Quidditch matches and can never really sleep. _

_ I'm just wondering if you would go to see the game. And if you could use my lucky scarf to it. Usually Sirius is the one who uses it, but I'm mad at him at the moment. Don't worry, nothing happened. This time. _

_ Anyway, the ribbon that I've attached the letter is the actual scarf, you just need to put it back to normal size. _

_ Thanks a lot. You're a the best. (I'm assuming here that you will go at the game and wear the scarf…) _

_ Cheers,  _

_ Potter. _

 

Lily saw the ribbon on the floor where she left, and picked it up. Putting the spell back in place. She could smell  _ James  _ on it. So she folded the scarf carefully and left down her bed, and then she was back to sleep.

In dreamland where she could dream happily about the boy with spectacles eyes.

"Why do you keep smelling your scarf?" Mary asked as they walked towards the Quidditch field.

"What?" Lily asked confused. Was she smelling James' scarf so much?

"You keep lowering your nose or bringing the fabric towards you face every so often!" Mary said indignantly.

"I'm not." 

"Whatever, you weird."

The game was brilliant. Lily loved cheering along her house mates for their team. And this was the one time she could watch James fly without a single fuck being given. Also Marlene, she was bloody amazing. Lily never understood how she and James could do some of the plays they did. They all looked impossible.

Gryffindor won but Hufflepuff wasn't so behind. They all went straight for the common room celebrate with tons of butterbeers that Remus and Peter got from Hogsmeade. Sirius was nowhere to be seen. But the boys didn't act differently.

Lily was still wearing the scarf, even with the heat from her beverage. She was in the corner of the room talking to Remus about an essay they had in Potions. Remus was a helpless with the subject, so he always asked for her Lily to  _ show him the light _ as he would put it.

She looked at the boy in front of her and wondered how he was standing in front of her. He looked so tired and exhausted, with heavy bags under his eyes and a few bruises and scratches showing here and there under his clothes. His eyes though, were alert, as if nothing was out of the ordinary. 

"Liiiils." Marlene singed in her ears, hugging her from the side.

"Yes my drunk love." Lily hugged her back. She smelled strong alcohol coming from her. "Where did you get the firewhisky?"

Marlene made a face at her. "Sirius. He is on his dorm. Alone. While everyone is here. Idiot."

"Why?" Lily asked looking between her drunk friend and Remus. His expressions was tight, meaning he clearly did not wanna talk about it."

"I'd better go." He said. "Oh and Lily, James asked for you to look for him later."

"And why is that?" Mary had arrived from behind Remus."

He looked at them confused. "Well, probably because he will want his lucky scarf back." He said that pointing at Lily. "And probably a 'thank you' in on your way too." He said it looking at her. "Anyway, see you guys later."

The three girls were left alone looking at each other when Marlene broke it.

"POTTER' SCARF?" She bellowed. 

"Keep your voice down!" Lily looked around to see if anyone was looking at them. But the party was going on without much trouble.

Mary gasped beside her. "That's why you kept smelling your scarf? LILY! Why didn't you tell us? When did he give you the scarf? Why are you wearing it? Are you guys a thing now?"

Lily felt dizzy. This was not how she imagined it. At all.

"Okay, so." She took a deep breath. "So, James wrote me a letter this morning asking if I could wear his lucky scarf to the game because something went down with Sirius and him. And Sirius wouldn't be able to use at that match today."

"Oh yeah, they had a huge fight. Didn't you know? The whole school is talking about." Marlene said. She sure can sober up when she wants.

"No." Both Lily and Mary said.

"Yeah, so Sirius played a prank on Snape yesterday night that put his life in danger and James went that and basically saved him."

It was like Lily's world had turn upside down. "What?"

"Isn't that some heavy shit?" Mary said somberly. 

"Yeah, and now the boys are not talking to Sirius. So he is all in his room alone and miserable."

"You went there to talk to him, didn't you?" Mary asked.

"Yes, I would feel like Merlin's asshole if you guys shut me off. I have empathy." Marlene explained.

"You have lust Marlene. Why would you talk to him? You said he put Sev's life in danger!" Lily was beside herself.

"I mean yeah. I'm sure people are being dramatic."

Lily was so angry all the sudden. She just wanted to blow up all those stupid boys.

"I need some air." She finally said, leaving the room.

She heard the girls calling back to her but she kept walking until she pass through the portrait of the Fat Lady. She found a secluded corridor and sat in the ground.

Before she could even manage to start thinking about everything that just happened, she realized James Potter was sitting in front of her.

"Not in a mood for party?" He asked.

"I heard about what Sirius did." She blurred before she could think. 

"Oh. Did Snape told you?" He sounded angry.

"James what was it? The prank?" She felt her heart beating fast in her chest.

"I can't tell you about it. Sorry. I made a promise." He stood up and started walking back to the common room.

"Wait." He stopped. She too stood up and catch up with him. She took his scarf out of her neck and wrapped around his. Then she hugged him. "Thank you." She whispered. "And I'm sorry."

 

Alone that night Lily guessed what the prank was. She just needed a little time to think and made the connection of what yesterday night was. 

It wasn't a prank, really. Black wanted to hurt Severus. But Lily couldn't quite shake the feeling that Severus had provoked him beyond limits.

So took a deep breath and turned to go to sleep. Thinking about what tomorrow would bring her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Forgiveness can go a long way, if you're willing. Lily finds herself helping someone she wouldn't imagine. And James finally takes a stand, or two.

Lily was surprised she had any sleep that night, hence her mind wouldn't stop going over the events of the previous day.

As soon as she was awake she went looking for Severus. She found him at the Great Hall, eating breakfast with his friends.

She really didn't want to march over there so she sat at the Gryffindor table barely eating her breakfast, but trying to caught his attention with his eyes.

"Hey Lils, are you okay?" Marlene asked.

She didn't even see the girls arriving. "Yes I just need to talk with Sev but I refuse to go while his friends are there."

"Wanna check if it's true then?" Mary asked, and Lily nodded.

"And to see if he is okay."

While she was distracted she didn't see them leaving, so she stood up in a rush to catch them.

"Wait Li-" Mary started saying but her friend as too long gone.

 

It didn't took long to find Severus again. He was still with his friends, but a little behind them.

"Severus." She whispered. He turned to her, looking surprised to see her here. "Can we talk for a second?"

"Yes." He said. "I will be right back." He called to his friends.

"Don't take long Severus, you don't wanna waste any time." Mulciber said with distaste in his voice, looking Lily up and down. She ignored him. That was not the time.

She and Severus found one of the garden's bench and sat there. Most students were still sleeping late on sunday, so they were alone.

"I heard about what happened." She said. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." He murmured.

"What did it truly happen Sev?" She could see how hard it was for him to not tell her straight away.

"Nothing, just a stupid prank Black played on me." He murmured again.

"People are saying James saved you."

"Oh, are they? Of course, _James_ is the hero. Nevermind that that monster..." He said angrily.

"Monster?" Lily's heart sank.

"Nothing." He said.

"Why are you not telling me things?"

"Why don't you go pester  _Potter_? I'm sure he will tell you what happen. He is an arrogant show-off alright." His voice was starting to raise and that worried Lily about other people hearing.

"I did, and he didn't say a word. Said he wouldn't talk about." She felt so defensive of James now, but she needed to be sure of the whole story.

"Right. Of course. Faking modesty." He mimicked vomiting.

"Will you stop alright? I don't get your obsession with James. Cut it out. I'm asking you. My oldest friend. What happened?"

Lily thought she could see a pain crossed in his eyes but she choose to ignore it.

"I can't talk about it. The… " He took a moment." ….prank... was pretty big, Dumbledore was involved and made us promise not a word would go out."

"Obviously being Hogwarts, everyone knows." Lily replied.

"Of course, Potter would want the glory for himself. Arrogant git."

Lily took a deep breath not wanting to lose her temper with him more than she was.

"What was the prank? You said something about a monster." She pressed him.

"I can't tell you Lily, Dumbledore made it clear to us, no telling. Or..."

"Or?"

"Expulsion."

She gasped at him.

"Black would have been expelled but Potter made Dumbledore change his mind. _Perfect Potter_ "

"How?"

Severus looked at her annoyed.

"Fine, what can you tell me then? You know I wouldn't tell any one."

Severus looked at his feet for a second before saying between his teeth. "Nothing."

He stood up to leave before turning again to face Lily.

"I will warn you though. There is something more to those boys. They hide a secret. A secret that I know now for sure. They're dangerous Lily. It's an absurd they even let them continue on this school. So, you better start cutting them out of your life."

Her heart sank.

"I know your theory and I know what you're saying. But I'd tell you, it's not what you think. Stop being obsessed with them. We don't have any monsters at school."

"How can you defend him? Don't you see the signs? You must!" He grabbed her hands. "You must see it! Lupin gets sick every month. It's a lie that he goes visit his sick mum. He is the one who is sick! I told you to pay attention to the moon calendar, didn't I? So you must know by now what he _is_."

"You're delusional Severus."

He huffed and dropped her hands with anger, it hit her tights with more strength than she was anticipating.

"And you're sharing a roof with a monster. Don't tell me later I didn't warn you."

Then he left, leaving Lily in a state of shock.

"Best keep this story to yourself, wouldn't want people laughing more at you." She called back.

 

So it was true. Remus was a werewolf. And Severus knew for sure. He has been saying this ever since their third year started. When he read the whole D.A.D.A book before September first.

Lily had it notice it too, during second year, when she got her period for the first time and every month during the night had to go to the infirmary ask for a potion for cramps. Her period crashed with the full moon a few times, back then she was addicted to moon and their superstitions so it didn't take long to notice, and she saw Remus at the hospital wing more than a couple of times. Several bandages around his body.

The funny bit was that once he would be back to classes on the next day his wounds would be mostly healed, but scars were always left behind in thin white lines, barely visible to the eyes, unless you really looked.

She only hoped that Severus would keep the secret to himself. Because this could ruin Remus' life. She wished she could find a way of saying to Remus 'Hey mate, know about your secret, don't worry, you can count on me, I won't tell a soul.'

 

As the days passed, Lily never felt so stressed with the secret she was caring. Usually this wouldn't make her lose any sleep, however she was worried about Severus telling a tale that wasn't his to start. He didn't though. And even with the whole school curious to know what really happened that night, none of the boys told anything.

James had stop sending her letters for a while. He looked so different without Sirius by his side. Remus looked worried as well, fidgeting all over the places. Sirius was the worst of the boys. He looked like shit. Didn't care about going to classes anymore and refused to eat at the Great Hall. She never seen the boys fighting so hard. Lily herself was angry with Sirius, and his distastiful prank. Peter though, would act as the mediator. Talking with Sirius when no one would, however Sirius himself pushed him back.

One night before an Astronomy class, Lily rushed to the Astronomy Tower to see if she could find the charts that she noticed wasn't with her, when she stumbled a very drunk Sirius Black sitting on the ledge.

Her anger vanished as soon as she saw him. He couldn't be left like this, could him?

"Oh Evans, it's you." He swinged to see her better with a bottle of firewhiskey in hands. "Fancy seeing you here."

Lily acted before she could think. She levitated him and put him safe and sound on the ground. "What were you thinking Black?"

"Isn't that really the question Red? I should probably get it tattooed." Then he took another sip of the bottle in his hands.

"Okay, hand it over. No more firewhiskey for you." She made a movement to grab the bottle, but Sirius reacted protecting it with his body.

"Don't take my only friend away."

Lily tried not to groan. He could be so dramatic sometimes.

"Do you really wanna know what happened Red? Cuz I will tell you!" He tried to stood up but failed, so he just laid on the ground hugging his firewhisky.

"Sure." Lily said losing her patience.

"Snivellus started to talk shit about my brother. Do you know I have a brother in Slytherin? We don't talk much. Fucking precious for my parents. Family pride! My whole family was a Slytherin, you know? I'm the Black sheep." He barked a laugh at his own joke.

"I don't wanna know about your mean prank Black." Lily crossed her arms.

"Oh but you don't see the whole thing here Red. I'm liking it calling you Red, I'm gonna continue okay?"

"No -"

"Anyway. Snivellus was annoying me about my brother. And how much he and his friends like him. And how much he fits in. That idiot. And how when the time comes things will all be alright for him, because he would have his place. And I would be dead."

"What?" Lily didn't followed.

"Death Eaters Red. Snape is talking about that racist prick that wants to get rid of muggleborns." He said like it was nothing. "My parents are supporters you know?" He swigged the bottle again. "I fucking hate that house. Bunch of twats, if you ask me. And now my brother will go there and get himself killed. That cunt..."

"Why would Severus tell you such thing? You're lying."

"Oh Red, let me tell you something. Unless I'm gaining something for me or my mates, I do not lie. I could care less if you and Severus snog in your free time, you're the one losing in the end."

Lily gasped. "He is my friend, only. I would never -"

"Again, Red I don't care. He is a prick though, you should reconsider your friendship" He cut her, once again swinging the bottle to his mouth. His movements were slower than usual because he missed it and dropped a bunch of the liquid in his face.

"So you decided that you should just prank him good?"

"Basically yeah. A poor decision at a time of much anger. They know I will act more impulsively if James or Remus aren't with me. So he was there, getting involved where his big nose isn't called and I just told him a little secret. A tiny little secret about something he has been too smug about. All I wanted was for him to have a good scare. Thought it was bloody brilliant until I told James and he flipped, and kind of put things into perspective."

"Yes you moron, Remus could have hurt someone." She said automatically.

At that Sirius jumped to his feet and advanced at her.

"He told you? Snivellus told you? He promised never to tell a soul!" He was so angry Lily was worried of what he might do.

"I found out on my own, thank you very much." She crossed her arms and stepped in front of the door, in case he decided to flee.

"When?" He demanded trying to cross his arms too but not managed to do such movement. He almost fell, but caught himself in time.

"Second year. My period had managed to sync itself to the full moon and every time I went to get a potion for cramps from Madame Pomfrey I would see Remus there, all hurt and all." She told him with a triumphed smile because she knew how boys usually reacted to period talk.

Sirius didn't flinch though. "Cool. So you were the one telling Snivellus?" His gray eyes were darker than normal.

"What? No! I in fact tried to make him drop the subject all the times he wanted to 'warned' me. Remus doesn't deserve that."

"Right." He looked calmer than before now. Still sad though.

"I ruined my friendship with them." She could see tears leaving his eyes. Then Lily's heart melt. Sirius had no one, but his friends. She knew about his rocky family as anyone in school did too. Slytherins always made sure to make it a show.

"Sirius, come here." She grabbed him hand and hugged him with all her strength. "There there." He was taller than her, so he needed to curve himself to allow her to hug him.

"Let's go back to the dorm, how about it? I will tell Professor Sinistra that you don't feel well." She said, trying to sound cheerful.

"Can't go to the dormitories right now. The guys are there." He said dryly.

"And why the hell not?" She stepped out of hug and looked at him.

"I can't be on the same place as they are." He murmured.

"Did they actually tell you that?"

"No. But I can't stand their looks at me."

"That dorm is as much yours as is theirs!"

He shrugged.

"Where have you been sleep?"

He shrugged again.

"Okay that's it." She clasped their hands together and started walked back to their dorms. Her charts long forgotten, she could get at new one.

Their walk in the castle was more tricky then she would have wanted. Sirius was still very much drunk, barely managing putting his foot in front of each other. She should be more surprised over his coherent speak during their conversation from the difficult of the task to walk back to Gryffindor Tower.

Getting him through the Fat Lady portrait was another mission, as Sirius kept trying to pull his legs up super high like he is walking in the moon, therefore missing the hole at all costs.

Finally Taron McDuun from sixth year decided to help him, and pretty much cared him up the stairs to the boys room. Lily followed along and once Taron left and Lily made sure he was far enough to any eavesdropping she turned to all boys of the room.

"Right. I don't care if you guys are not in speaking tones with Sirius." She held up her hand from preventing James from do his speech. "I also think you lot need to figure out on your own, and I'm not the one to tell you that. BUT, this room is as much a room to Sirius as it is for any of you, so let him be here alright?" She made sure to look at all boys. Poor Peter he was the one that least worried her. "And if he is a bit short on friends at the moment, let him at least take the room as a safe haven."

She was turning to leave when Remus said. "I think you would be, between the girls I mean, the most mad about this. After all Snape is your friend."

Lily took a deep breath and looked him in the eye. "Sure he is my friend and even though I don't know what the prank was." She sort of lied. "I know that he is not a saint and probably provoked it. However, you guys are my mates too and I hate to see any of you hurt."

"Thank you Red." Murmured Sirius almost falling down his bed.

"Go take a shower first. You stink alcohol." She said closing the door behind her.

"Yes mum." He said ignoring her and falling down his bed, going to sleep almost immediately.

 

On the next day Lily found Sirius on the Gryffindor breakfast table. A little later than usual, but he was there nonetheless. She needed to ask him to keep it a secret about her knowing about Remus. She didn't want to pressure Remus to talk to her. If he decided to open up, she would be all ears.

"Sirius, how are you feeling? Hangover?" She asked, sitting down in front of him. She could feel James looking at her from the other end of the table.

"Great." He looked confused. "Is it that obvious?" He murmured to himself.

"Well you do look as disheveling as usual and you don't stink so much as alcohol like yesterday. But you were completely out of it. Taron and I had to care you to bed."

"Did you?" He asked taking a sip of his pumpkin juice.

"You don't remember?"

"Nah. I remember starting to drink at the Astronomy Tower. And something about red. But other than that, I'm afraid not." He took a bite on his toast and looked like he regretted. "Why, did something happen?" He pointed at her and he and then looked at James looking positively afraid.

"I mean, yeah." She said. She wasn't expecting the panic look he send her. "We talked. That was it. Do you remember a thing?"

He shook his head. "No. Sorry Red." He flinched as he said it. "The red thing, was that wasn't it?"

She nodded.

"Okay, did we… hum… did we talked about what exactly?"

Lily thought about lying to him and letting him think something else. However she also thought about how it would be best not to mess around him.

"We talked about how my friend Severus made some comments about your family and brother to rile you up, and you end up saying something you shouldn't."

Sirius was now holding his head with his hands, trying to take deep breaths. He was also calling himself names.

Lily reached and pulled one of his hands with hers.

"You don't remember but I told you I already knew about, well, the thing." She gave him a look to indicate what she was talking about. "And I'm actually here to ask you to keep it a secret, I don't want _him_ -" she made a movement with her head to show of whom she was talking about. "- to know that I know yet. I want him to feel normal."

Sirius was still gaping at her. Then he blushed. Sirius Black actually blushing.

"Did that has something to do you with getting your period?" he whispered.

Then Lily couldn't hold back her laugher.

"Yes. That you recall, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do now." He patted her head as if she was a dog and then awkwardly collected himself. "Thanks, I guess. For putting me to bed I mean."

"You're welcome." She got up starting to leave. "For the conversation as well."  

When Lily passed around James, she dropped him a note she had wrote earlier.

 

_Write me a letter, would you? It's been a while._

_L.E._

 

It took him a full week to write her, at last he did.

 

_Evans,_

_Sorry if I've been absent for the past days, I had a lot going on._

_It's just… it's weird not talking with Sirius, but I'm so mad at him! I know we don't like Snape. Still, he crossed the limits this time._

_I know you talked to him. That night. He told me. And I just… I was so confused. I am so so confused._

_Like are we ever going to talk to him again? I don't know. And I don't know if we want to!_

_And Remus, the usual voice of reason, it's even more mad at him than I do. He does have his buckles on though. He is right to be mad._

_I can't really say why and I do ask you kindly to not ask further, but… I miss my best friend._

_That's it. I miss him. I wish this time was one of those where I could just punch him in the stomach and move on with me life, you know?_

_Anyway..._

_Did you started that History of Magic essay? Binns is insane asking us to write that bunch. I tried to start already three times, but I can't seem to focus. I can't deal with another Battle of the Goblins!_

_I still need to do the Transfiguration and the Potions assignments. But let's face it. Those I can do it with my eyes closed._

_Have you started those? Maybe we could start studying together._

_How have you been? It's been a while since I asked you that._

_Potter._

 

Lily had no idea how to answer to that letter. James had poured his heart into it. So openly that it took her by surprised. She had no idea of what to do. And showing the letter to the girls would be completely wrong.

He decided to be sincere in his letter to her, she couldn't betray his trust and share with the girls his problem, only because she didn't know what to do about it.

She tried to write him back four different times, however she never felt like it was a good reply. She realized it was probably one of those things that talking in a letter seemed to be too much impersonal, she rather talked to him in the flesh. See how he reacts to what she has to say, and comfort him when necessary. She also wanted to talk to Remus, but even being friends, she didn't feel like she had any rights to go bossing in his life.

And she wished she could talk to Peter, see how they're all really feeling, as he was the only one that still bothered with being nice to Sirius.

So she decided to be as sincere as James had been with her with her reply.

 

_James,_

_I don't know what to say. And I know you're not expecting me to say anything, but_ _I want to_ _._

_I don't know what to say because I don't think that the things I have to say should be written in a letter._

_I'd liked to talk to you. Really talk to you._

_Can you meet me by the bench that is closest to Hagrid's hut tomorrow after dinner? You don't have to decide before and give me an answer. I will be there waiting._

_Lily._

 

On the next day after dinner Lily was walking towards their meeting spot. She was almost at the bench when she heard James calling her.

"Lily!" She turned around and saw him running. She stopped and waiting for him to get to her. She caught a shadow at the corner of her eyes and saw Severus watching them still at the castle. He looked angry.

That was something she would have to deal later. And turned back to the boy in front of her.

"Hey James."

"Hey. Shall we go?" He made a movement with his hand for her to guide the way there.

They walked in silence but it was pleasant being with him. She still had a crush on him, but they were also mates now. Really mates. It was different. She knew she could trust him with anything, and that feeling felt better than having just a crush. She liked him, immensely. However she knew her feelings only grew as they become friends.

"So..." James started once they sat on the bench. His hand went straight to his hair, as it often did when he was nervous. Lily took a moment to realize she was staring at him.

"Oh right." She cleared her throat and thought of what she was going to say. She had it sort rehearsal before, but now, looking at the boy in front of her with the pain she could read on his eyes, she suddenly forgot what she was suppose to say. "Hum..." She took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes again.

"Okay, this isn't an easy conversation." She started.

"Did Snape tell you?" He asked at once.

"What is up with you boys asking me what Severus told me?" She asked angrily.

"It's just, I don't trust him." He defended himself. Lily couldn't really blame him as she knew what happened and wouldn't really trust Severus herself to keep it a secret, not one he could take advantage of.

"No, he didn't." She said in a much calmer tone. "Sirius told me what he did though. About Severus I mean. How he provoked him."

"Sirius should have known better." James murmured between teeth.

"Oh I agree. I don't know what he told Sev, but whatever he did I bet it was mad."

"It was unforgettable." James was looking at his hands now.

"It's just… I understand Sirius' side." Lily said softly.

"You do?" James looked at her confused. "I thought you would be angry."

"Oh I was. Until I knew the whole truth. Well most of it actually." She couldn't really tell him she knew about Remus.

"Why is that?"

"Because I know how Severus act. I know that what he said to Sirius was to rile him up. I know that Severus knew exactly what he was doing to Sirius. And can you imagine? Living your whole life being so different than your family? Always having to defend yourself or distant yourself from people's comments? It's not easy."

Lily took a breath and sat facing James now.

"You know I have a horrible sister. But my parents are alright. They accept me for who I am. Sirius doesn't have the support. You know what people say about him and his family. How he is indeed the black sheep of it. It's awful."

"Doesn't give him the right to hurt others about it." James said.

"No it doesn't. But do you really want to lose your friend to this? I don't know what he did, I only know it was dangerous. I know that you're the one that truly avoided the worst to happen. You did that because you knew better. So you need to help him learn how to know better. Help him to become a better person. I know you two are like brothers. And siblings fight. Look at me and my sister! We are so different yet she is my sister, and I wouldn't wish nothing bad would happen to her."

"Lily, I don't know if it's that simple." He said in a small voice.

"Who said anything about being simple? It's not! Relationships are for us to work on them. You can really give up on a person just because they've done a bad thing. You can if they only do the bad thing and you've done all you could for them."

He was silence for a minute before he asked. "What should I do then?"

"Talk to him. Hear him out. He knows he acted impulsively, he knows he doesn't deserve your forgiveness. And that shows who he really is."

"What he is then?" James said amused.

"A puppy that needs care and training." He looked at her intensely and she continued. "I know it was you who prevented Sirius from being expelled from the school. And I remember when you said you could never imagined not talking with your friends, Sirius included." She poked him in his ribs as she said it.

James laughed out loud. "Okay I give you that." After a moment he asked. "What about Remus? I mean, he is angrier than I am."

"I think you should talk to him as well, see how he feels about you talking to Sirius. You can't make your decision based on other people though. You have to make it for you. You're miserable without your best mate. So if you want him back in your life, you have every right to have. Remus will just have to get used to the idea. I mean you two didn't shut Peter out for him talking to Sirius sometimes, did you?"

He shook his head.

"There it go then." She looked at the clock in his wrist. "We better go back now, it's almost curfew."

She stood up but James grabbed her arm, releasing as soon as she turned. "Wait Lily. I wanna say thank you. It really helped me, this conversation."

"Glad I could help."

On their way back to the tower they talked about their classes. James had a funny way to make a perfect impression of the professors but he swore Sirius had the best Mcgonagall and Remus had the best Dumbledore.

She once again appreciated how their friendship had grow over the last term. She liked being near James. He was a fun person to have around, always with a joke up his sleeve. She wouldn't have imagine that night months ago to turn out like this. But she sure would enjoy every second of it.

 

On the following day, Lily saw James and Sirius chatting at the Great Hall. Remus was sat beside them, a little stiffer than usual, but still there. Listening.

Peter seemed happier than all of them, now that his friends were all talking again. Later that day Remus encountered her in the library and asked if they could talk.

"James told me about the conversation you had. I was wondering if you wouldn't mind telling me some of the topics you went over with him because I'm a little on the defense towards Sirius. I mean, I'm still mad about it, but we are working on things. It's just hard." He said on a whispering tone.

Lily offered him a smile.

"Let me ask you this Remus. Do you know that Sirius regrets his decision?"

He thought about it for a minute. "Yes. He told us plenty of times."

"Do you also know why he acted that way with Severus? What he said to provoke him?"

"Yes. He told me the full story last night."

"Can you understand that sometimes is a little more tough to control your instincts when you feel attacked by something that is a really sore point to you? At least, if you have the impulsiveness of Sirius?"

He took a deep breath. "This is what troubles me. He was so impulsive that he didn't thought of the consequences."

"Sirius is not used to thinking on the consequences. When has he ever done it? And by the way people tell about his Black family, probably all lack in that department. But we also know that Sirius just needs to learn about limits. His family didn't care enough to teach him that. But he cares about you guys more than anything, he was miserable those couple of weeks without you guys speaking. And I know that you James and Peter also care about him. So I think he has learnt his lesson."

"He shouldn't have done it in the first place." He murmured.

"No he didn't, I agree with you. But attacking him won't do any good. You can either try to help a friend or let them go. James and Sirius are more than friends, they are brothers. That doesn't mean you should be friends with him too."

He took a moment to think, playing with the hem of his uniform. "I care about him too. The things he did to me, and still does… I can't… He's done so much. I know he didn't think all the way through the prank."

"Yes. And can you forgive him for that?"

"Did you? That easily?" He asked looking at her.

"Yes. After we talked, I understood his side of the story. Mind you, I know Severus all too much to know how he acts sometimes. The people he chooses to hang around… And here am I trying to help an old friend, even if I'm against the odds."

"I suppose." He nodded his head and picked his bag. "Do you mind if I work on my D.A.D.A assignment here?"

"Not at all, I enjoy your company."

 

The following week the boys were back to normal. Laughing and joking on the corridor. Sirius arms resting on the shoulders of his friends as they walked. Lily felt a overwhelm content in her heart. She knew better than to let small things get in the way.

Severus in another hand was testing her more than usual. Ever since he saw James and her together talking in private he has been a real arse.

She tried to remind herself that he was just being protective of her, as he know her for so long. But she really didn't understood why boys have to act like that around other boys.

"We're just friends. Will you stop it?" She told him for what it felt the millionth time.

As the end of the term was approaching, Lily and James barely had any time to write letters to one another. There was just so much to do.

Also Lily got the feeling that the boys were up to something. Ever since Sirius was back with the group, the four wouldn't leave the library. All surrendered by books. They didn't look like they were plotting something, but everyone knew better.

Remus sometimes took a break and would hang out with the girls. That's what she felt the most surprising of all.

"How come you're always late with your homework if you're always at the library?" Marlene asked him one day.

"Oh you know, there are just too many interesting books for us to miss our time with. This year we just discovered some new good ones."

"Right." She said doubtedly.

 

When the last trip of Hogsmeade was coming along James approached Lily at her table during lunch.

"Evans." He said with a grin.

"James, hello." She smiled at him. She could see with the corner of her eyes that Marls was mimicking vomiting. And Lily could hear Sirius, standing a little behind James, laughing out loud.

"Hi. Can we talk?" He asked.

"Sure." Lily stood up and followed the boy to the garden.

"So, I know the next trip to Hogsmeade is in a couple of weeks and I was wondering if you'd like to go together." both of his hands were in his hair and Lily completely missed the point.

"Oh the girls and I were already planning on going with you guys! Sirius told us about the new thing they're selling at Zonko's and he promised he would should us how it really works."

His face felt, but he soon recollected. "Right." He clearly his throat. "I was actually asking if you wanted to go with me, you know, on a date."

And then Lily's heart went racing up her chest and she couldn't stop from blushing.

_Finally!_

"That sounds wonderful!" She cheered.

"Really?" He asked surprised.

"Yes!" All she wanted was to start jumping around screaming. Or maybe kiss him. The second option seemed better.

"Because for a second there it sounded like you wanted us to do a group thing." He had his hands in his pockets but was grinning at her.

"No. I mean, yes, that was exciting, but your proposal is..." She couldn't tell him her true meaning, could she? She couldn't say 'better'. It would be saying too much, wasn't it?

"Is?"

"Good. Your proposal is good." She said offering him a smile without any teeth.

"Okay then, do you wanna meet up at the castle entrance around eleven?"

"Sounds good to me."

"Great." He moved back and forward on the same spot, still in front of us. "Maybe we should go back and finish lunch." He offered her his arm for she to lead the way.

 

At that night she told all her girlfriends in a passive tone, trying not to sound like a big deal. But they all yelled like banshees, and soon the news of her date with Potter traveled through the school.

She wasn't ready for the wrath of Severus. The only reason he kept his voice from rising was due to them being in the library, and she thanked Merlin's beard and pants for that.

"I just don't get at all why you’re mad. You say that he is a bully, but your friends do worst things to people. It's just a date. It's not like I'm marrying him." She finally snapped at him.

However he still wouldn't let her be. Every day he would try to talk her out of going on this date. Enough for the Marlene and Mary to notice.

"He is jealous." Marls said one afternoon. "Jealous that you're going out with James and not him. Jealous that James is going to be your first boyfriend and not him."

"Of course not." Lily said.

"I don't know Lils." Mary said. "I kind of agreed with Marls here. The way he acts is sick. Is like he thinks you are his, and only his to be. I'm not much of a fan of that."

"I know he does acts super protective towards James, but that's because he knows me forever. He just wants the best for me."

But even as she said she knew it wasn't completely true. He did had a rivalry with James that was beyond normal. She understood them not liking one another, but James never asked her to stop hanging out with Severus, not as Severus had implied countless times.  

She wasn't going to let no one putting down her date with James though. She was bloody happy for once. That finally, _finally_ , her crush and she would give it a go.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily has a date with James. Severus tries to hold her back. The last thing she've imagined actually happens.

When the morning of the date arrived Lily almost lost the time. The girls and she stayed up late the night before laughing in prosperity of the date, ending up going to bed super late. If it wasn't for Marls' biological clock, none of them would have been up before noon.

Lily wasn't planning on dress up much different than usual, she just wanted to paint her lashes and use her favorite rouge blush and lipstick. Nothing too fancy.

She did sleep with tight braids so her hair would be wavier on the next day, so that could count as something.

In the end she managed to get ready in time, but she had to skip breakfast. She thought she could be okay, she could eat on the Three Broomstick once they got there.

She was so excited for their date she couldn't contain herself. She kept imagining them together later, her sitting on the armchair of the common room, and James sitting on the ground by her feet. Her hand playing with his hair, as his arms rested in her lap. Their friends all around them as they play some silly games that neither her or James would be paying attention.

She knew she was hyping up her date too soon, but she couldn't help it. She wanted them to be a couple. That shouldn't surprised her however it did. Surely she was too young to be thinking this way right? Or maybe being fifteen was the proper age. She wouldn't know.

It just felt right. Being with James. She wouldn't lie to herself and say it always felt right, because if this was a little over than an year ago, she would be mad at herself for liking James Potter. She could admit that her crush didn't started over night, but she also could admit that taking her time and getting to know him a bit was definitely important too.

Before she could get to the school's entrance Severus got her by the arm and walked her into a deserted classroom.

"What in the fucking world do you think you're doing?" She asked with a dreadful feeling that he could try to keep her from her date, and she really did not wanted that.

"I could ask you the same question. Going out with  _ Potter _ ." He put such emphasis on the boys name, so much hate that Lily was beyond herself.

She started to leave the classroom when he blocked her with his body. "Let me pass Severus. This isn't funny."

"You're going to thank me late-" But she didn't let him finish the sentence. She could barely restrain herself from doing it. She hexed him with a bat-bogey hex. That seemed to be enough to allow her to leave the room without Severus being a cretin and keeping her there.

Honestly, that boy was testing her more and more by the minute. Keeping her from her date. Who does he thinks he is?

She was so mad she didn't notice when she was in front of James already. He looked at her surprised and it took Lily a while to realized she was fuming.

"We can cancel if you'd like." He said with a sad smile. He was fidgeting all over the place. With one hand in his hair and the other inside his pocket trousers. Lily loved the weekends when the boys wouldn't be using the schools robes. Trousers worked such much better.

"No need." She said in between teeth and tried to smile but in vain.

He nodded not looking at her and stepped to the side so she could accompany him to the carriages. 

Lily tried to start a conversation however she was still too mad at Severus, so she stayed the whole way of the village trying to calm herself.

James didn't seem to mind. He was looking out the windows with his hands in his pocket not really paying attention to her as well.

Great, she needed to do something or this date would end up badly because of her stupid ass friend.

Thinking of Severus made Lily mad again. She couldn't believe the audacity of that boy. Thinking he could prevent her from going on her date. She could understand him not liking James, but he crossed the limits thinking he had any sort of claim on her. Honestly. She would had to have a serious talk with him when the date was over. He would have to understand that she can make her relationships choices the same way she let him do his. Even though his involved being best mate with a bunch of racists.

Lily took a while to realized she was muttered to herself and that the three other people of the carriage were looking at her. In fact it was the first time she realized the Ravenclaws girls sitting in front of them.

"I'm sorry." She said to them, and looked at James. "I just had a misstep." She didn't want to mention that git. She smiled at James and could see he melted a bit on his seat.

The way for the village was taking longer than usual. James didn't say a word to her ever since they met at the castle and was acted weirdly around her.

He was never the one to go quiet.

"Did something happen?" She asked in a low tone for him so the other girls wouldn't listen.

He looked at her with panic in his eyes and shook his head.

Great, now she made everything awkward. She took a deep breath and tried to enjoy the rest of the ride.

She end up talking with the Ravenclaw's girls in front of her, Grace and Frankie, as she found out. They were third years and still had that fantasy look over Hogsmeade.

Both of them tried to talk to James but he was quiet the whole time. Maybe he didn't like to talk in front of strangers. But as soon as Lily thought that, she knew it wasn't true. James was a natural show off. He had no problem with strangers whatsoever.

Maybe he was just shy now that they were on a date. 

She saw the girls murmuring to themselves and sharing a giggle looking at James. 

Oh.

Lily could recognize a crush when she sees one. And apparently one of the girls liked James, Frankie as it would be. Grace tried to ask something about Sirius to him, but he just offered them a smile and looked out of the window.

Lily found it amusing the two girls. She felt not being jealous over them. She hated to be one of those girls that would want her boyfriend to not be around any girls. She was smiling at herself looking at James.

He looked so surreal beside her. He was so quiet and not looking at her at all. Did she ruined the date? Did he think she was mad at him?

Lily felt much better now. Maybe she should explain to him once they were far from the girls. She just wanted this date to go well, and possible end in a kiss.

Just thinking of it made her blush. She closed her eyes trying to ignore the fact that they were still sharing a carriage with two other girls, that could see her blushing.

Once they finally arrived at Hogsmeade James didn't lose any time to be the first to leave. The other two girls soon followed him and tried to talk to him while Lily was descending the stairs of the carriage. 

She approached James slowly while he stood there awkwardly looking at the girls in front of him. He looked at them as if one had grow another head on her shoulder. She put her hand on his arm letting him know she was there and he jumped in surprised.

"Hi." He said knotting his hand on his hair.

The two girls realized a little too late that they were meddling in a date and left as soon as they could.

"Hey." Lily said smiling. "Sorry about earlier." She said again. "I was mad at Severus for something he did right before I meet up with you." She was holding the hem of her shirt. She wished James would grab her hand to give it something to do. "So I was a little beyond myself when I saw you."

"It's okay."  His hand left from his hair and went back to his pockets. "Is everything alright?" He asked shyly. James was not the type of person to ask her about her friendship with Severus. She knew he didn't like him, but he left her to do her own thing.

"Yes." She took a deep breath. "Everything is alright now."

He nodded in agreement at her. "Good."

Lily felt a bit strange that James was being so quiet all the sudden, but she decided against saying anything that could make it awkward. He would start to act more like himself once they spend more time together.

He started walking and she followed him. She was thinking he was leading the way to the Three Broomstick when he made a turn towards Madam Puddifoot's. 

Lily herself had never been to that place, as it was usually a couples thing. She didn't know if she would feel comfortable about that yet though. Sure they were on a date, but must them act like every other couple from the school?

She decided to change her way of thinking and stop analysing every detail of her date to actually start enjoying it.

They found a table right in the middle of the teashop. They were surrounded by other couples and most of them were snogging vigorously. Lily never felt so much out of place in her life. She glanced at James to see him with his gaze fixed on their table.

"Maybe we shou-" Lily started to say they should go to the Three Broomstick when Madam Puddifoot herself appeared in front of them.

Did she just apparated? She didn't saw her coming.

"Hello dear, what can I get you?"

"Herbal tea for me." Said James quickly.

"Hum..." Lily looked at the boy and at the woman before her. "I want a apple tea with some crackers if you please."

The woman left them alone again and Lily wished she was at the Three Broomstick badly. She would much rather eat some chips and drink a butterbeer than being here. 

She took a look around and decided it was not something she would do again. Sure the store was adorable, but the teenagers hormones were too much and Lily felt herself blushing again.

Was this what James wanted? Snog her endless in the middle of other couples?

She couldn't help but think he must not know her. Or maybe she didn't know him.

She looked at the boy in front of her and tried to start a conversation.

"So, are you excited for the last game of Quidditch next week?" 

"Oh yeah." He said looking at his hands that were resting on top of the table.

"We're going for the cup, that must be a thrill." She pressed him. James were never shy away from a conversation about his favorite sport.

"Of course." He again wouldn't look at her.

"Do you know if you're going to be Captain next year? People are talking you know..." 

"No. Only when you get the letter, you know..." He looked to his sides as if questioning himself what he was doing there.

Lily opened her mouth to speak again when their teas and crackers arrived.

James went all to soon drinking his tea and burned his tongue. Lily let go on a little laugh and the boy in front of her looked mortified. 

She drank some of her tea and started eating a cracker before trying to make the conversation start again.

"So, do you think you're going to get the Captaincy? Did Johnson or Mcgonagall comment anything with you?"

He shook his head setting his tea on the table again. "No they didn't."

"Are you hoping they will?"

He nodded at her shyly. "Sure. That would be great."

"Well, I think you would be brilliant at it. You're one of our best players." She smiled at him.

He hummed at her but didn't say anything else.

Lily was trying to think of things to say while she drank her tea and ate her crackers. She offered him some but he declined all too politely.

She started to feel so awkward around him that was making her uncomfortable. But no, she didn't want to think of that. She shook her head slightly as to clear her thoughts and tried to move on with her date.

"Next year we will get to know who will be prefects."

"Right."

"I'm thinking of either Mary or I will get it. Hannah and Barbara are good too, but I don't think they have enough authority on them to pull it of. And Marlene… Well, she is Marlene."

"Yeah."

She took a deep breath and continue. "Do you think that Remus will be the one to get the prefect title? I can't imagine any of you doing so."

"I can't either. It's not something we go for."

"Right? I think Remus is the one who gets in the end. I think he will be brilliant at it, don't you think?"

He nodded his head looking at the empty tea cup in front of him.

"Do you reckon we could read what the tea leaves mean? Like in Divination?"

He looked affronted. "That's a bunch of bullocks."

"Oh I agree. Can't wait to drop it after the Owls. But I think we can come up with some funny things."

He shrugged at her but did indeed looked inside his teacup.

Lily closed her eyes trying to not think about how her date was going weirdly awful.

"Can't read anything." He said.

"Let me see." She stretched her hand to pick that cup but James jumped in surprised and end up dropping it on the ground. Breaking it.

Madam Puddifoot was right beside them in two seconds. "Don't worry dear, nothing that we can't fix." She took out her wand and with a flick restored the cup. She picked Lily tea cup and plate before she leaving. "How about another cup?"

She left before any of them could reply but soon enough two teacups along with some more crackers were back at the table.

James was playing with his cup when Lily asked him. "Are you feeling alright?"

He looked at her at once. "Yes, are you alright?"

Lily thought for a moment. "I suppose..." She took a pause before continue. "Is just that you're being a bit quiet."

He nodded pensively at her but said. "I'm quite alright, thanks." Then he took another sip of his tea, once again, not looking at her anymore.

Lily sighed and grabbed another cracker.

They sipped their tea in quiet now. Lily could hear the other couples kissing around her and that was making her stomach turn.

She stared at James to see if he was going to say anything or do anything but nothing happened.

"Is this a prank?" She asked after a while when all the crackers were gone and they had finished their second cup of tea.

"What?" He looked confused at her.

"Is. This. A. Prank?" She asked again but putting a pause in between the words for him to understand her clearly.

"What could be a prank?" He was looking at his sides looking for something.

"This date." She crossed her arms in front of her.

"What? No!" He exclaimed. "Not a prank!"

She huffed at him.

"Why it would be a prank?" He asked bringing his hand to brush his hair out of his forehead.

"Because this date can only be a mean joke, right?"

"What? What do you mean?"

"I mean that you haven't say more than a few words at a time! At first I thought it was because you thought I was mad at you, since I was mad at someone when I meet up with you, but then I've explained to you things and nothing changed."

"It's not a prank Lil-" He started saying but she was on a row.

"Then I tried to make you talk about Quidditch and the fact the whole school knows you're going to be Captain, then I asked if you wanted to be Captain, then I tried to change the subject for the fact that maybe, just maybe, one of you boys would end up being prefect and let's face it, that would mean that you guys would have to been more in line. I even tried to read your bloody tea leaves for Merlin's sake. And here we are in silence, in the middle of a bunch of snoggy couples and a bloody teashop when I much rather be at Three Broomstick." She said in a passive-aggressive tone but making it clear by her use of words what she really think.

He stared at her wide-eyed. Then he cleared his throat and tried to say something but closed his mouth. He went back to staring at the table.

After a long pause he looked back at her and tried to say something again but closed his mouth once more.

She sighed again. "Talk to me Potter, please. It's all I'm asking."

He swallowed air and took a deep breath before starting to say. "I'm sorry. I thought you were going to like coming here. All the girls talk about this tea shop as if was something they all look forward to do in a date."

She herself took a deep breath. "Well, that's clearly not me. And you could have asked. Did you bring me here just to snog me?"

"What? No!" He went all red. "I mean." He cleared his throat again. "I mean, I would be lying saying that snogging you wasn't something I don't wanna do. But I also like to enjoy the date."

"And are you enjoying the date?" She asked crossing her arms once more in her chest.

"I can't say it was the best date I've ever been. Truth be told this is my first date." He said in a small voice.

"It's mine as well." She uncrossed her hands and put them in the table. She still wanted for him to grab one of her hands.

He hummed at her and brought one of his hand to brush his hair again.

"Look." He started. "This date was not suppose to be like this."

"And how it was suppose to go?" She asked resting her chin on her hand.

"I don't know. But not like this would be good."

"Maybe we should just change locations."

"Change locations?" He asked confused.

"Yeah. How about we go to the Three Broomstick? Have some lunch yeah? I'm starving, I didn't ate any breakfast and these crackers did nothing for me." She offered him a tight smile.

"Oh okay. I'm sorry." He stood up and walked to the counter, paying for their drinks.

When he was back Lily looked at him. "You didn't have to pay for my part, I could have paid for it."

He did a movement with his hands and started leaving the shop. "It was nothing, don't worry." Waving at her to forget about it.

"Thank you." She said nonetheless.

"You're welcome." He smiled at her. It was the first time in their date that he offered his true smile. She couldn't help but smile back.

Maybe this date didn't have to be awful in the end.

They kept silence again in their walk towards the pub. It was an awkward silence though. Lily was once again feeling hopeful.

As they walked inside it they were crushed by the familiar a sound of a bunch of people talking at the same time.

James looked around for a table and found one in a corner. It was small but it should be enough for them both. He excused himself to go pick some butterbeers and place an order for chips while Lily was settling in down.

She looked around to see if she could find any of their friends but found no one. Better this way, no interruptions.

Her heart started to beat faster now that they were here.  _ 'There'  _ she thought.  _ 'Now we're at the perfect place for our date.' _

James came back after just a few minutes bringing their butterbeers in hands. He sat down in front of her and took a sip out of his drink.

That was when Ruppert, a Gryffindor from fifth year, decided it was a good idea to come and talk to James about the match.

Ruppert himself wasn't on the team, but hoped once Johnson was out he could be their new beater. He was also giving some tips for James on plays they could do for the next match to guarantee the victory against Ravenclaw.

In the meantime Lily kept eyeing James to look at her and set that boy back his way. This was their bloody date after all.

Not to soon James tried to get rid of the boy.

"Sorry about that." He said.

"It's fine." She said. She could mean that could she? Sure he just talked more with the boy than with her during their own date but she wasn't going to let this frown her.

"So if you get the Captaincy are you going to let him in the team?" She asked curious.

James thought for a moment. "I would see all the candidates first and choose the best suit for the team. Ruppert may be good, but he talks too much and wants to take charges of things. I don't know if the other players would appreciate that." He told her honestly.

"Oh."

"If I get to be Captain I mean."

"Of course."

Another silence fall in between them but just in time for their chips to come. 

"Sorry about the delay love. The pub is full today." Said Rosmerta. 

"It's okay, thank you." Murmured James.

He took one chip and looked around him another time.

Lily couldn't help but feel disappointed with this date. She wanted James to be himself again. To talk and laugh, and tell jokes and tales. Not this teenage boy that was sitting in front of her who would barely offer her any word.

She looked at her clock and saw that not only one hour had passed since they got to the village.  _ 'Merlin' _ she thought  _ 'This is going nowhere.' _

But she shook her head and tried to make him to talk to her one last time.

"So… Next year we have the O.W.L.s exams. Can't say what to expect of them." 

"Yeah. People usually start studying as soon as the new term starts. But I'm not worrying too much."

"How so?" 

"Oh you know… It won't matter how much you studied if you don't learn the actual things you gotta learn."

"Well, how are you supposed to learn if you don't study?"

He shrugged at her and took a sip on his butterbeer.

Another long silence fall in between then and Lily waited for him to continue to explain what he meant but James just kept eating and drinking. She, in the other hand, had had enough.

"Should we be just friends?" She asked.

He choked. "What?"

"This is clearly not working. I think it's because we should just be friends." She said crossing her arms. "I mean we were just getting to know each other as mates, maybe we're not suited to be anything else." She kept rambling her feelings.

He looked alarmed. "Is that what you want?" He asked in a small voice.

Was it? Well, no. But it was obvious they didn't work together.

"It doesn't matter what I want, this date haven't gone nowhere." She wanted to say it was crap. Horrible. Boring. However she didn't wanted to sound mean nor bitter.

"Oh, I see." He swallowed. "Do you wanna cut short then?"

"Yeah, I think it's best. That way I can still find the girls in the village and you can find the boys."

His hands went to his hair on more time.

"Sure." He begun to stand up. "I will just pay for our things."

She stood up as well. "I can pay for my share."

"No it's alright. I asked you on this date. It's a least I can do." He said nervously.

"Since we are not really moving forward I would feel better if I get to pay my share at least. I mean, you already paid for our teas."

He nodded at her and both of them paid for half of their share.

When they were standing in the front door of the pub Lily couldn't help but feel a pain in her heart. She truly wanted to make this work, but she couldn't deny that their date had gone terribly. Maybe they connected at being friends and just that.

"I guess this is it, huh?" He asked.

"Yeah. But we still will be friends right?"

"Sure." He said putting his hands on his pocket one more time. "I'm sorry if you didn't had any fun." He wasn't looking at her as he said it.

"It's alright." She said in a low tone. "See you around?" She needed to leave him now because she felt her eyes sting. She refused to cry in front of him.

"Oh yeah, around." He nodded looking at the ground and moved to go in Zonko's direction.

As silent tears fall down her face Lily thought how she never expected for it to go horribly. But it did. The date was awful. They barely talked, James refused to look her in the eye. He kept his hands on his pocket the whole time. He wouldn't crack any jokes. It broke his charms away. She couldn't wait to get back to the castle and just breath something that felt anything but uncomfortableness.

She praised Merlin for her not to be all red and puffy when she found her friends. As she did cry the whole time she took looking for the girls.

At last she found them at Gladrags Wizardwear.

The girls took notice at her at once.

"Lily what happened?" Mary said. Lily wasn't crying anymore, but she must looked terrible. 

"Why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be at your date? Asked Marlene.

Lily took a deep breath. She didn't feel like crying anymore. She told the guys to finish their shoppings and later she would tell what had happened. She did give both girls an abbreviated version of what had happen, saying the date didn't worked as they would had like and decided to part they ways.

She told them she wasn't too happy with the outcome of it, but decided to move on. She had at least shared a kiss with him, she could have that. They promised they would be friends, but she doubted it. Not after that disaster, it would be too weird.

So the girls resumed their shopping and tried their best to cheer Lily up. Lily in another hand refused to be miserable. So what if the date didn't pay off? Sure that will be other boys, she didn't need to worry it. 

She also refused to admit (to herself and to her girlfriends) that her heart had broken a little. After all, her crush on James had become quite big.

Nonetheless, she didn't think of the boy the rest of her afternoon.

The girls and she went back to the pub to have a proper meal, as they were all starving. Then they went to Honeydukes and got plenty of chocolate pastries to last for a whole term, when the plan was to eat in a girls-only night.

She even saw James along with his friends and send him a smile with a wave. He didn't reply the smile, but did the wave.

Then Marlene vanished for a while, a little before they head back to the castle, and when she was back she carried a bottle of firewhisky with her. The bottle was blended within her shoppings, but she showed the girls with a mischief in her eyes.

"We will drink it tonight. Tomorrow is sunday and we can make a lazy day as we cure our hangovers."

"Where did you get it?" Asked Mary excited.

"Sirius helped me get one. I don't know how he did it, but he got inside the Hog's Head and left with the bottle. Said something about him having a special treat, because they wouldn't sell this to any other student. But who cares?" 

Lily tried to sound excited. The girls and she always promised they would share their first drinks together, but she didn't know if her drinking at her state would be a good think.

"We will just have a shot or two. Just to try it. And then we drink the rest of the bottle once we're done with our tests." Mary said, as if sharing her thought.

"Yes, I was thinking something like that. I wanna know what happened to Lily's date and remember. Possibly be able to go there and hex Potter if I need."

The girls left and popped inside the carriage that would take them back to the castle.

"You better hide that bottle better." Lily said, as it was only the three of them inside. "Or Filch will have it confiscated."

"Good thinking." Marls replied to her, taking her new robe from inside the bag and wrapping it around the bottle in a messy nest. Then she put it back it inside the bag and gave a little shook to see if something would reveal the bottle. "Perfect."

When Lily got back to the castle they decided to go straight to their room, take a hot shower to clean the day's events away, and talk about the it's tragedy.

They all put their pajamas and had enough chocolate to make it up for dinner. Hannah and Barbara weren't back to the room yet, so they had plenty of time.

"So Lils," started Mary "tell us what really happened."

Lily then told the tale with as much details she could remember. It wasn't difficult, as James didn't done much.

The girls actually gasped when she told them about how easily he agreed to end the date short. And when she was done Marlene had prepared all three shots of firewhisky already.

"A toast." She told them solemnly. "To all the boys who will be stupid in our future."

And the three of them shot it down their throat. They all choked on the same time.

"HOW DO PEOPLE DRINK THIS SHIT?" Mary bellowed.

Lily was coughing so hard she couldn't speak. When one of them gained a bit of breath back they used aguamenti on a cup and shared a drink to clean the burning sensation.

"How in the world did Sirius drunk a whole bottle that night?" Lily asked out loud.

"What?" Marls asked curiously.

"Oh, one night I had to drag Sirius around the castle because I found him drunk at the Astronomy Tower and he was holding an empty bottle of firewhisky, I just assumed he drank all up in one go."

"Incredible." Marls replied.

"Or he just lacks of sensitivity on his mouth." Mary said.

Then the three girls were laughing again. After a while Lily asked. "Do you reckon that a second shot would be worse?"

And so they drank again. They all choked again but the burning sensation seemed to subdued. They didn't get drunk per say, but they sure were tipsy.

"Why did that moron thought it would be a good idea go straight to Madam Puddifoot's when he knows that's where all couples go to snog?" Lily asked throwing her arms up and down as she said it. She sure had a thing for the dramatic.

"Because he wants to snog yoooooou." Marlene sang. The girl was on top of Mary's bed with a package of chocolate in hands throwing them pieces as she jumped. So far she hasn't miss a single shot. And both Lily and Mary were more than happy to be her personal targets.

"Oh Lily, he is just a boy. You will get over him soon enough." Mary said moving her hands to tell Marlene she was ready.

"And McKinnon prepares to throw, and she nails it. It's a goooooal." Lily had her hands cupping the sides of her mouth to make it sound like she was truly Ralph McGregor narrating the matches. 

Marlene bowed to them a couple of times before she fell on the bed.

"Lils?" Marlene called for her attention.

"Yes love?" Lily had slid down her mattress and was laying down her back.

"Do you think James was just nervous about the date, and that's why he sucked so much?" Lily thought for a minute. "You did said he wasn't acting like himself." Mary continue.

"Besides, you guys are used to talking in letters, not in real life. At least not like that." Marlene said.

"Yeah maybe he got nervous about it and it got to his head." Mary was now looking at Lily right on top of her. "Are you awake?" She poked her twice in the middle of her eyebrows.

Lily shook her head.

"No, this is just a dream. And when I wake up I will be late for my date with James but I will get my decent date nonetheless."

Both girls laughed and someone threw a pillow on Lily's face. She guessed it was Marlene.

"Be serious!" Mary said.

"I can't. I'm Lily!" She replied. Both girls groaned in response. Their whole year, or at least the Gryffindor part, would do this pun every so often. James specially.

Thinking of James made Lily sad again.

"I really liked him you know?" She said in a low tone.

"You don't need to stop liking him, you can try again sometime." Mary tried to cheer her up.

"Yeah, give it time, maybe something happened to him and he let it acted out on the date." Marlene replied.

Lily sat up and nodded her head. Then she remembered.

"Oh I need to tell what that git did!"

"Is he a git now?" Marlene asked Mary confused. Mary shrugged.

"Nooo! Severus!"

Both girls shot a look at Lily. Ready to hear her. And possible plan a revenge. Lily knew her friends all to well.

She told all about how Severus tried to prevent her from going on her date. She told them how angry she got, enough to throw a hex right on his big nose.

_ "I love the irony of it."  _ Commented Marlene.

Lily also told them how she is growing frustrated with how Severus is acting more and more.

"Is like we can't be friends anymore. I feel inside a Jane Austen's novel where I'm the damsel who needs to play by her closes male relative rules." She groaned. "It's so frustrating! He is supposed to be my friend. Be happy for me. But he acts like he is the only person to know best for me."

"And he will be so annoying once he hears about how your date actually went." Mary replied.

A washing feeling passed through Lily. She groaned again.

"I cannot deal with him if he starts saying 'I told you so Lily'" She did her best imitation of his voice. "'I told you Potter was no good!' Like he knows anything about what good really means!" She sighed laying back down and putting a pillow in her head.

"I don't know how you can be friends with him Lily! He is so negative all the time. Always putting you down." Mary said, taking the pillow out of her face and stroking her hair.

"Besides, he acts like he wants to dominate you. Do as I say and be a good girl. I can't stand that." Marlene sat down next to her in bed.

"I know! It used to be okay a few months back. But he is not knowing the limits anymore. And I'm starting to think maybe we shouldn't be friends after all. The only thing that really makes me think is how happy we were as kids. Doing magic, and learning about this world, when I only had his voice to tell me things."

"You know better now Lily." Mary was still stroking her hair but was now laying down next to her. She had one leg crossed over Lily's.

"And don't forget that kids grow. I remember a time where James' name would throw you in a roll. And now, even if you guys aren't dating, you do consider him your mate." Marlene said poking Mary's sensitive foot making her giggle.

"I guess that's is true. I just don't know what to do!"

"You know what you need? A break from boys!" Marlene said excited.

"Oh that sounds nice. Just a girls night without the mention of any boy!" Mary sat up happy with the idea.

"How about we make it a full week of it?" Lily said playfully, knowing they would fail.

Both of the girls laughed but looked serious all of the sudden.

"Do you think we can actually manage it?" Marlene asked looking at the ceiling as if it would give her an answer.

"Let's make a promise out of." Mary said. "No talking about boys, unless is extremely necessary, for a full week."

"Starting tomorrow." Said Marlene. "I think my crush on Sirius is back and I need to talk about it."

Both girls laughed and Lily offered. "A third shot then?"

"You read my mind girl." Marlene said picking her cheeks as Mary went to get the drinks.

"He is just so cute. And even though he looks so mysterious at all times, he has these puppy eyes there are just meant to be taken care of." Marlene started.

"Oh I said once to James that Sirius was a puppy that needed to be taken care of." Lily said.

"See? I'm not the only one that sees it."

"Maybe your mother instincts are kicking over Marls. You did said you wanted to take care of him." Mary said holding a laugh.

Marlene found a pillow and tried to squish her with it.

"What I like is to take care of his arse." She said in between teeth.

"Sirius has a flat arse." Lily told her pointedly.

"Exactly, he has room to grow. And I can help him. Love to in fact." Marlene said proudly giving up trying to kill Mary with the pillow.

Their movements were starting to get slower than usual, and Lily knew it was the alcohol making its effect.

"Sure you like him better apart from his arse." Mary said.

"Oh for sure! I mean, I don't think I'm in love or anything. But I like how he laughs. It sounds like a bark, it's so loud, it makes everyone around him laugh as well."

"Maybe more at him than with him." Lily said with a grin.

Marlene advanced on Lily now, she was waiting for it though. One movement and Lily had sent Marlene to the ground.

"Not fair." She called.

"Why don't you just ask him out?" Mary asked.

"Because every other girl on school wants him. I mean, he is the best looking boy of our year. Possible of all years. Sorry Lily."

"To which its own." Was her reply.

"But for real now. Why don't you?" Mary asked again.

"I don't wanna get reject if I'm being super honest here."

"Maybe you can become closer to him and then make him get interesting in you." Mary replied.

"I don't think Sirius would do that, if we think about. He doesn't seem like the type to be with one person and stay with them."

"He is only fifteen Lily."

"Have you ever have seen him with a girl?" She asked.

"Lily has a point." Mary said. "I don't think I've ever heard of anyone that snogged him."

"Do you think he is gay?" Marlene gasped. "Could you imagine having a gay friend? That would be awesome!"

"Nah." Lily said. "I think he just has too much on his plate to think about girls to be honest. He maybe snoggs some or another, but I don't think he is the type of guy that goes on dates. Sorry Marls."

"I'm not offended. I don't feel like having a boyfriend. But if I could snog Sirius from time to time it would be nice!"

"You know what we could do?" Mary said with a mischievous look. "We can play truth or dare next time we are all bundling up on the common room."

"What is truth or dare?" Asked Marlene.

Both Lily and Mary gasped. It took a while for Marlene to understand the whole game but when she finally did, she instantly understood what they were planning.

"Oh and if the bottle hits Sirius you guys can dare him to snog me!" She said clapping along happily.

"We could make them play Seven Minutes in Heaven as well." Mary said to Lily.

Then Mary and Lily took their time explaining to Marlene what Seven Minutes in Heaven was, just for Marlene's happy ears. She was beside herself hearing all those muggles games she never knew it existed. A plan forming along the three girls. 

Lily did asked for them to didn't force anything with James when they finally managed to put the boys to play, and both girls promised they wouldn't do anything. But wouldn't interfere if the boys did.

And so their night end like this, with all the girls talking good and bad about boys. How cute they were. How they acted like idiots. How some of them smelled too much. How some needed to learn some manners. 

They talked for hours on end to get it out of their system before the next day would come.

Hannah and Barbara joined the girls around eleven. Marlene told them their plan to not talk about boys at all for a whole week and they were in.

Lily was feeling much better now. She knew that whatever would happen with James would happen eventually. She didn't know if they would be friends still. Didn't know if they would give another shot. Didn't know if they would just follow different paths in life. But she knew she would find soon enough.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing better than a petty revenge against some stupid arse.

Lily's week of no boy talk started rubbish. Severus found her on monday afternoon at the library. It had take him long enough since the girls decided to stay at their common room the whole sunday, except for meals.

He sat down in front of her and started to do his own homework. She glanced at him but said nothing. She could see the smug smile he had. She ignored him and continue to do her assignment.

After a while of just the sound of their quills on the paper, Severus broke the silence.

"I heard about how your date with Potter went."

She was still sore about the subject and she really did not want to talk with him about it. "And I thought you had learn your lesson in putting your nose where you're not called."

That didn't seem to bother him. "If you had only listened to me, you wouldn't had to go through that at all. People saw you crying around the village. I think you're the one who should had learn the lesson."

Lily's temper was bubbling inside of her. "That's none of your business."

"Sure. But you have to agree with me that Potter is an arrogant git that would have flung the date anyways."

"As a matter of fact I don't agree with your all."

"Oh Lily, don't be mad at me. You just had your pride hurt. You will see with time that I was right all along."

Lily took a long breath and tried to remain semi-calm. "I think  _ Severus _ ." She put as much distaste as she could on his name. "You should learn to be a good friend and support me, instead of acting like a know-it-all. No one likes that. Besides you know nothing about James and I."

She gathered her things and left their table. She saw Remus sitting along a few spots from where she was, she walked straight there and sat down.

He looked at her in surprised. 

"I don't wanna talk about it." She said.

And so they worked in silence for the rest of the day.

 

That night Lily didn't talk to the girls about what happened. 'No boys' was their deal, and Lily could handle Severus on her own.

"I need to do something to cheer up our spirits." She said to the four girls in front of her.

"I'm still hangover." Said Hannah, looking a little pale.

"You were the wild one deciding to take your shot directly from the bottle." Marlene said laughing. She was laying on the end of her bed with her head falling to the side of the mattress.

Hannah on another hand was laying on Barbara's lap while Barbara played with Hannah's hair. The two girls were pureblood and had grown up together as their mums were best friends from school and planned to have kids at the same time. Both of them had younger siblings that were still too young to Hogwarts.

And everyone thought they were dating because of how close they were.

"We need something that would relax all of us." Said Barbara.

"How about we do yoga?" Asked Mary looking up from her muggle magazine. Mary's mum would always buy her favourite magazines and send them for the girls to read. It helped a lot the other three purebloods in the room to get situated in muggle culture. It was always a fun exchange.

"What's that?" Asked Marlene.

"Is a type of exercise that calms the body." Mary said. "It says here is it's was originated in India and its ancient. There a tons of different kinds of yoga, but this one it shows is about posture and healing the body. It also says is going to be a new hit soon."

Marlene stood up and sat down next to Mary. "It shows on the magazine how to do it?"

"Yes, look, you can see how to do each posture here." Mary laid the magazine on her bed so all girls could see.

"Wouldn't it be better to have the photographies moving?" Asked Barbara. "I'm still not used with muggle ones. How they can be so still and not fall?"

Lily and Mary giggled at her and explained one more time that muggle photography capture one specific moment, so the person in the photos didn't have to stay still for long.

After a little bit of debating the girls decided to try yoga anyway.

They all showered and put their pajamas because it said in the magazine they needed to have comfortable clothes to be able to do the movements.

They moved their beds with their wands so they can have a bigger space for all of them in the middle of the room.

With Mary as their instructor, Lily, Marlene, Hannah and Barbara sat facing her. They started with Lotus poses. It was easy enough sitting on the ground with their legs crossed. Problem was that the magazine told them to relax in this position for three minutes, no talking, no thinking.

"Now that is stupid." Said Marlene.

"Shiu." Mary said not opening her eyes. She was going to take this seriously.

"Why can't we not think for three minutes?" Marlene pressed.

"It said is to relax the mind before we start the other positions. Now be quiet." Mary said in a whisper.

"I don't see how now all the sudden she needs to be super strict." Marlene leaned towards Lily and whispered to her.

Lily tried to send her a look, but the smile she was trying to hold back gave her away.

It didn't take long for Hannah and Barbara starting to talk in the background. And Mary couldn't help her laugh.

"Being silence for three minutes. Don't these people know to whom they're writing for? She said. "Anyway let's do the next pose: Downward-facing dog"

That one was easy enough. Marlene had more flexibility than the other girls due her Quidditch practices.

"What happen if I can't reach the ground?" Hannah asked.

"I guess you can just lean more and have more space?" Lily offered.

The girls continue with the fifteen poses the magazine told them to do. Too much they end up falling on the ground or bending too hard their bodies to the point that by the end of their practices all of them were hating yoga.

"How can people say that's relaxing?" Ask Marlene massaging her own knee.

"More like, how can  _ that _ heal a body?" Barbara piped in.

"I have more pains now than when I started." Lily said.

"Oh I quite enjoyed it." Said Hannah.

All of the girls looked at her in surprised.

"Yeah she is still drunk. Is the alcohol talking." Said Marlene matter of factly. 

It took them a while to move from their positions in the ground. They still needed to put the beds back in place and brush their teeth to go to bed.

"I'm so glad we showed already." Said Mary. "Can you imagine having to do that after  _ this _ ?"

"I can't even make my arms work, let along shampoo my hair." Marlene agreed.

"How come you're in such pain? You play Quidditch for Merlin' sake!" Asked Barbara.

"Because I have adrenaline running up my body when I play. This shit was rubbish."

Lily hummed in agreement. And closed her eyes. Maybe she could sleep there.

 

The following day none of the girls, except for Hannah, could leave their bed.

"My body aches all over it." Cried Mary. "Who was the idiot that thought yoga was a good thing?"

"YOU!" They all yelled at her at once.

"I can't stand up Hannah, help me." Barbara told her friend.

"I don't honestly know why you guys are like that. I've done the same exercises and I feel fine."

"Be a good lass and shut up." Said Marlene.

"Be a good lass and go to Pomfrey and ask for something. Tell her what happened she will know what to do. Because I can't get up." Lily replied.

Hannah sighed in defeat and told the girls she wouldn't take long.

She took longer than usual and by the time she arrived back in the room with a potion in hands they were all late for class.

"Pomfrey sent us a potion to relax the muscles. She said to never try a non authorized exercise again." Hannah gave each of them a bit of the potion and the effect was almost instantly.

"Thanks honey, that saved us." Said Marlene.

"Do you think we should keep the rest of the potion is case we need it again?" Asked Mary.

"Give here to me, I will put it on my school bag." Offered Lily. 

They managed the day without any major pain. Taking a few sips of the potion when anything started to feel weird again. By nightfall they were as good as new.

 

The following day passed without anything out of the ordinary. Lily decided to apply their "no boys" rule to Severus. She was still mad at him of how he acted before and after her date.

Truth be told she still thought about James.

She glanced at him a few times during her days to see how he was doing. Most of the time he seemed normal, except that he wouldn't look at her not even if they crossed ways on the corridor.

Other than that, the week was passing as any other week: they had way too much homework to even worry about other things. Plus they were getting close to the end of the year's exams, and that made everyone worry and study extra hard on their free time.

Wednesday though, was an exception.

"Where in the hell is Mary?" Asked Marlene sitting down on Lily's bed.

"I don't know, but should we be worry?" Lily asked.

"It's way past curfew Lily, do you think she fall asleep at the library?"

"I think Pince would had kicked her out by now."

"Do you think she is with a..." Marlene didn't finish her sentence making Lily look up from her book.

"A what?"

"That thing we made a rule of not talking about this week. I hope it's not Ramon, he can be so condescended sometimes."

"Oh, I doubt it. I think she would have said to us nonetheless."

"True. Also, Mary is too proud to break a promise. She would probably tell him to not bother her until next week."

At that Lily started to laugh imagining Mary throwing her short blonde hair as she told them about a boy she told to bugger off.

The girls followed their scheduled and got to sleep. Sure Mary would come back soon enough. Probably with a gossip within her lips.

But as the night passed they found themselves to be wrong as Professor Mcgonagall was the one to wake Lily and Marlene up.

"Wake up Miss Evans and Mckinnon. And follow me."

The girls took a minute to process what she was asking of them, and tried to follow their professor as fast as they could.

"Come on, quick. We don't know how long she will be awake for."

"What happened?" Ask Lily trying to hide a yawn.

"You will know in just a minute, now come, we have to go faster."

They arrived at the hospital wing. The clock on the wall indicated three in the morning. The girls looked at each other but continue to go after Mcgonagall. She stopped at the foot of a bed, where Mary was laying.

"Mary!" Both girls yelled at the same time.

"Now you two stop making that much noise. We're at a hospital wing, for Merlin' sake." Said Madame Pomfrey.

"What happened?" Asked Lily in a small voice to Mary.

They never saw their friend looking like this. She was trembling all over herself, not looking at anything as if lost in thoughts. She didn't reply.

"Professor?" Asked Marlene to Professor Mcgonagall.

"She was found unconscious on the third floor corridor by Mister Filch." She said with a stern voice. "He brought her here. Madame Pomfrey had a hard time waking her up, almost a full hour. We think she was cursed by someone by the looks of it." She looked at the girls. "She asked for the both of you not while ago."

"We think she may talk to you, because she couldn't tell us what had happened." Madame Pomfrey offered both of them a chair each to sit beside Mary. "Go on, sit, and try to make her to talk. I gave her a potion to calm her nervous and it should work within a few minutes."

The two older woman left them alone but Lily could still hear them talking.

"Best call the Headmaster while they wait." Said Mcgonagall. "What do you think Pomfrey?"

"I think is going to be necessary, whatever have happen to that child was not a playful thing."

Lily and Marlene were quiet for a moment. Lily had no idea what to do.

"Mary?" Called Marlene. "Can you hear us?" She tried to get a grip on Mary's hand but she flinched at that.

"Mary? Is us. Lily and Marls." Lily moved so Mary could look at Lily's face.

"Lils?" Mary called, recognizing her friend.

Lily smiled a bit. "Yes love, is me. Marls is here too." Lily made a movement so Marlene could join her and the girls stood up and moved as well.

"Hey Mary." She said in a small voice.

"Marls… What are you doing here?" Mary asked them.

"We're here for you love." Said Marlene.

"Do you know you're in the hospital wing?" Lily asked.

"No… Am I?" Mary looked around as if for the first time. "What am I doing here?" She asked.

"That's what we are wondering as well." Marlene offered her. "We waited for you at our dorm but you never came. You were at the library remember?"

Mary took a moment to think. "Yes. Yes I remember now."

"Do you remember anything else?" Lily asked.

"Why?" Mary asked confused.

"Because you were found unconscious at the third floor corridor love." Marlene said gently.

Mary froze at that. She looked like she was trying to remember something. Lily looked at Marlene and saw that the girl was looking back at her.

Both didn't know what to do.

They both looked at Mary at the same time to see that Mary was stiff as a board with her eyes widen.

"What happened, do you remember?" Asked Marlene quickly.

Mary shook her head but said in a small voice. "Mulciber."

"Ah." All of the girls jumped. "I see that you remembered after all Miss Macdonald." Said Professor Dumbledore.

The three girls stared at him starstruck. None of them have notice his arrival.

"Mind telling us what did really happen?" He said calmly.

Mary shook her head and tears started to flow down her cheeks. Lily and Marlene were holding her friend at once by each side.

Mary took a deep breath and tried to speak. 

"Maybe now is not the time." Madame Pomfrey said. "Let the girl rest before telling-"

"No!" Mary said firmly. "No. I can't sleep. Not... " She gulped. "Not after what happened."

All of them looked at her and let her speak when she was ready.

"I don't remember much..." She started. "I remember being at the library studying for the exams and then I remember Pince saying she was closing." She took another deep breath.

"It's okay love, you don't need to tell us now." Offered Marlene.

"I have to. I don't want anyone else to get hurt." Mary said in a small voice.

Lily brushed her friends hair trying to comfort her during her tale.

"I must have been lost in thought and end up at the third corridor. As I was making my way to the dorm I heard a noise. I thought -" She stopped. "I thought I recognized Mulciber's voice, but when I turned I saw nothing but a strong light and something hit me in my chest." She pointed where. "And then it was like I couldn't breathe. I remember a laugh, and then I don't remember anything else."

"The cuts in your arms." Started Professor Dumbledore. "Were they there before?"

"What?" Mary sounded confused and looked at her arms, sure enough small lines revealing what before would have been cuts. "I… I… I didn't have them. I..."

"It's okay Miss Macdonald. I've treated them already. By morning you will have nothing but your normal skin." Said Madame Pomfrey offering a smile. Lily thought that she never saw the woman smiled before.

Mary shivered. 

"Miss Macdonald, are you sure it was Mr. Mulciber?" Asked Dumbledore.

"I'm… I'm… I've heard his voice." Mary said.

"But are you sure?" Dumbledore had a stern look on his face. As if he was battling something inside himself.

"I only heard it for a second. And I thought it was him." Mary said defiantly.

"Very well. I will take the matter into my own hands. Rest now child."

He left the hospital wing closing the door behind him. Lily and Marlene stayed behind. Madame Pomfrey offered them to stay until Mary fall asleep with the potion she gave her.

 

The following day Lily and Marlene went straight to the hospital wing to see how Mary was feeling. She was a bit in shock still, but better after the dozens of potions Pomfrey had given her.

She cried in front of the girls telling how awful she felt, and how much fear she was now feeling living in the castle.

By the end of their morning, Mcgonagall corned Lily and Marlene to let them know that Mary went home to rest. She was fine physically but mentally and emotionally she was exhausted, so they felt that a trip home might do her good.

They didn't know what to feel at that, because that had never happened before. And both Lily and Marlene were afraid their friend would never be back at school.

The whole school was talking about the news. Greg Smith, a third year Ravenclaw, was on the hospital wing the night before and told his friend what Mulciber had done. And soon enough the whole school knew about it.

Lily and Marlene didn't talk about it in public though. Not even in their breaks between classes. Both of them were too angry to do so. They went by the rest of the day catatonic. Only realizing what that truly meant once they were back to their dorm.

"That bloody tosser!" Marlene said, walking from side to side agitated. "I can't even imagined what he did to poor Mary!"

"She was beyond herself alright." Lily was trying to control her impulse to march to Slytherin's common room and hex the boy.

"And I haven't heard a thing about Dumbledore punishing him." Marlene picked a pillow and started to punch it.

"Probably because Mary doesn't have real prove it was him. Just his voice." Lily stood up from her bed and picked Marlene's pillow from her, it was Mary's.

"So? Someone needs to be punished!"

"I agreed. I still can't believe Mary left." Lily sat on Mary's bed sadly.

"I know." Marlene's voice was lower now. "We didn't even got a chance to say goodbye to her. Do you think-"

She didn't finished her sentence. Lily didn't needed her to do so. "Do I think she will ever come back? I hope so. I can't imagine school without Mary."

It took them a while to calm themselves enough to go to sleep. The next morning while the girls were walking to potions, where they shared the class with Slytherins, they debated if they could try to find out what really happened but Lily didn't want to talk to Severus.

"You do realized that our agreement of no boys failed right?" Marlene said as they sat.

"I'm more worry about Mary at the moment."

"Oh, I'm with you."

When they arrived in the classroom both girls saw a gathering of Slytherin's people. They were all laughing and being loud.

"Dumbledore haven't done a thing." Said Kimberly Grint looking smoothly at Mulciber.

"Of course not, they have no proof. And father wouldn't let that old man do anything against me." He replied throwing a grin at Lily and Marlene once he saw them.

_ That wanker.  _ Lily thought. She didn't realized she had her wand in hands and pointing at him until it was too late. 

She hexed him good.

Too good. As Marlene herself has done the same.

"Merlin's beard!" They heard from behind them. "Lily Evans and Marlene Mckinnon hexing people in my classroom? Now now, ten points from Gryffindor each."

Neither Lily or Marlene cared much for that.

The rest of the class passed without much further inconvenience. Lily was so angry she couldn't pay attention to what the professor was saying and both she and Marlene managed to ruin their potions before the end of the class. She was also so angry to not realized the looks Mulciber was sending both girls.

Lily felt unsatisfied once the class was done. But before she could find out what was it, she felt someone pulling her into a dark corridor.

Marlene by her side.

"You think you can just hex me without any consequences? Little Mudblood and her traitor friend?"

They could see Mulciber blocking their passage. Lily's anger aggravated.

He pulled his wand but before he could do anything he was on the ground. Lily looked at Marlene and saw the girl holding her wand. Her quick reflexes from Quidditch paid off today.

One look at Marlene's eyes said enough to her as well. It was Lily's turn.

"Expelliarmus." She said in a low voice. "Don't think just because I'm a  _ Mudblood _ ." She felt Marlene flinting at her side. "That I'm not worthy at magic." With that she made a movement with her hand that was more an impulse than something planned.

She once read a book called "Guide to a Witch's potential: How to turn Gits in Pigs." and she found out it was a wonderful book full of hexes that witches could use on boys and men when they were being ridiculous.

Including one that could vanish their balls.

The boy shrieked. His hands went directly towards his crotch.

Marlene looked at Lily impressed but before they could said anything Professor Mcgonagall walked on them.

"What is the meaning of this?" She demanded.

None of the girls replied in time.

"They attacked me." Cried Mulciber.

"Only because you did first." Marlene said angrily. She started to walk towards him but Lily held her back.

"Detention this friday night. All three of you." She said. "And Mr. Mulciber get up at once."

"All three? What do you mean? I've done nothing." He said still at the ground.

"Get up at once and no more complains or I will give you saturday and sunday as well. Surely Mr Filch can use the help."

"I can't get up, that filthy girl cursed me."

Lily said nothing, only looked at her professor back, holding up her gaze. She would not be afraid of the consequences, not this time.

A look on Mcgonagall's face surprised her. She swore she could see the tiniest grin.

"Very well. That's ten points from Slytherin for that mouth of yours. And I will take you to the hospital wing." She levitated his body and walked off, calling back on the girls and telling them to wait at her classroom.

Once they were all alone Marlene started laughing.

"What in Merlin's name did you do?"

"Remember that book I found a while ago of hexes for witches?"

"Yes. Still wish the school wouldn't have banned that."

"Well, I remember a nasty hex that could vanish a boy's balls." She said with a smile.

"Almighty Lily Evans, that was bloody brilliant!" Marlene hugged her and at that time Professor Mcgonagall entered her classroom.

She clicked her tongue and walked slowly towards her desk. She offered with her hands for the two of them to sit down.

"I won't need to tell you girls that seeking revenge is not something we do in the open right?" She said in a stern voice. "What you did to Mr. Mulciber's was wrong but I understand your frustration with this… situation."

She grabbed her wand and made a fluid movement and soon the three of them had a cup of tea in front of them.

"From what I heard Madame Pomfrey talk to Mr. Mulciber, you vanish with his- " She cleaned her throat. "His intimate part?" She said that looking at Lily.

She nodded.

Mcgonagall took a sip of her tea and the girls did the same.

"I believe you learn that with Miss Agatha Marsh and her book of hexes?"

"Yes professor." Lily said.

She saw her professor doing a small nod at them and she seem to be contemplating. Lily thought she saw the same grin on her lips as before. "I won't say that Mr. Mulciber's actions are justified. Even if we can't know for sure if he was the attacker of Ms. Macdonald, the school board refuses to punish a student that could be innocent. I will trust my house students to behave as well as they can in a time of crisis."

Both girl nodded.

"No more hexing." Her stern look was back.

The girls nodded again.

"As a woman myself I would advice to wait longer." She murmured.

"Come again?" Asked Marlene.

"Finding culprits of old news is harder."

Lily felt herself grinning at her professor. She got her message, she was on their side, even if she couldn't act publicly.

"Both of you will join Mrs Black and Potter friday night at Slughorn office to help him sort of the boxes of ingredients that are left over from this year. Straight after dinner."

The girls nodded and Marlene asked before she could refrain herself.

"What did they do?"

Mcgonagall clicked her tongue but humored them by telling them. "Mrs. Black and Potter decided it was their Gryffindor duty to protect the honour of their fellow housemate."

 

As soon as the girls left the classroom to return to their other class they started to hear the murmur of what had actually happened.

Sirius and James pranked, in a very meaningful way, the whole Slytherin house. Their common room and dinner table wouldn't allow any student to be left alone without constantly burning their arses if they tried to sit.

"How did we lose that sign during breakfast?" Marlene asked.

"I think we were too mad to notice anything."

"Glad we can't talk about that." Said Marlene ironically.

"Why not?"

"No boys talk. I figure only destroying Mulciber's well being could count as an exception."

Lily nodded agreeing, as she didn't wanna think about how she feel knowing that James had taking matters into their hands to punish all Slytherin's no matter if they were guilty or not.

Lily swore to herself she was a good person. She knew that both Sirius and James were wrong in doing so. But inside her, she felt content that she could count on her friends.

It didn't take long for the rest of the school to know what Lily had done to Mulciber. She had several girls from Gryffindor and other houses congratulating her for her skills. The Slytherins didn't enjoyed the news so much, as they were constantly trying to hex her while she had her back at them.

One time she even caught the sign of Sirius defending her against a group of fifth years Slytherins.

"Try to hex her Mead and I will tell your grandmother what really happened to her precious vase. And don't you even dare Roth, as we both know your magic sucks and you shouldn't even try to act like it doesn't." 

 

Friday night arrived all too soon. The girls continue with their promise of no boys, unless if it was to talk shit about the Slytherins because Dumbledore didn't really punished anyone yet.

Lily and Marlene arrived at the potions room all too soon. Both of them were tired and all they wanted was to do nothing in their beds. But here they were ready for their detention.

James and Sirius were already there, sorting through the boxes.

"Ah Miss Evans, Miss Mckinnon. The task of tonight is easy enough. Just separate the ingredients by type and alphabetic order. I trust you don't need me here in the classroom to keep an eye on the four of you?" They all glared at him. "Fine enough, I have an errand to run, and will be back before you know it."

He left them alone and the four of them started to work in silence.

That lasted for a full minute.

"Heard you jinxed Mulciber's balls Evans." Sirius said amused. "With luck he won't be able to have any kids."

Marlene laughed out loud. "Didn't think of that way. Damn Lily, that was a great hex."

Lily nodded at them and looked quickly at James.

They didn't speak at all after their date and Lily had no idea of how to act in front of him.

"Did you know that Mulciber lost fifty points while he was on the hospital wing? He kept calling you names and Professor Flitwick heard and demanded him to stop, when he didn't he gave him more detention and the points. If you ask me he should have been expelled."

James hummed in agreement but didn't glanced at Lily once. 

She felt uncomfortable having to be in the same room as him, but Lily did her best to focus on her work. The sooner they would finish, the sooner they could be back to their dorm.

Sirius had apparently other plans, as he wasn't much help for any of them.

After a while even James got annoyed.

"Mate, you gotta help us here. Tomorrow we have our last game. We have to win."

"We don't have to win precisely. You want to win because you're obsessed with the game."

James opened his arms and looked at his friend. "Your point? Stop being a prick and come help us out."

"You do realize you're lucky Mcgonagall wants to keep the Quidditch cup on her classroom or she would had given us detention tomorrow."

"What can I say, she can't have her best duo away for the match." James said high fiving Marlene.

Sirius walked towards a box. The box that was beside Lily.

"Red." He said nodding at her. She nodded back. "I heard your date sucked." He said in a small voice.

She stopped what she was doing to glare at him. She looked at Marlene and James but they far enough to have heard that.

"Indeed." She replied with a slightly pain in her chest.

"It's alright, you can always try it again in the future." He said not looking at her and with a tone of voice of someone who didn't care.

Their conversation died at that. Lily tried to think if he was trying to rile her up but they've worked in silence until the whole thing was fully done and they could leave for their dorm.

The boys didn't even wait for Slughorn to be back to go back. As soon as they were done they left. Lily and Marlene thought best of it and waited.

It was way past eleven when they decided to leave as well, as their professor wouldn't be coming back any time sooner.

As they zombie walked towards their room they didn't realized a commotion on their common room.

Only when Hannah run up to them.

"Come on." She said, grabbing both by their arm.

Mary was back. Her two days rest was enough for her to feel well again to go back at school.

"So you two were in detention after vanishing with Mulciber's balls? Bloody brilliant." She said.

The girls chatted until none of them could stand up anymore.

Once they were back in their dorm they talked about how Mary was feeling and what else she could remember.

But what she told them was what she knew. Soon the conversation died and they finally went to a slumber sleep.

 

The following day Gryffindor won the Quidditch cup, with James scoring a goal as the snitch was caught. In their common room the party went until the next day and Lily had fun with her girlfriends, happy they had each other fully again.

When sunday arrived Marlene woke them up.

"We survived and failed the week promise of no boy talk but I feel renewed."

"Hurray." Cheered Barbara.

"I'm glad this week is over, but I'm more afraid about the exams starting soon." Hannah said.

"Don't worry, we can group study until we all get the subjects." Lily offered.

"Can we start studying tomorrow though? I feel like doing nothing today." Said Mary.

And so they did.

 

With the exams coming along the girls concentrated their attention into their study. Remus sometimes would join them, as it seem like no one of the other boys would bother.

Lily was excited for the year to end. She missed her home. She missed her room. She missed her mother.

She wasn't exciting on having to deal with Severus anytime soon. She was still furious of how he acted on her date.

And she was excited not to have to feel uncomfortable every time she saw James. She knew, as the end of the term came along, that they were too awkward even to be friends. Whatever they had, it seemed to be lost. 

Mostly she wanted summer to arrive soon because she wouldn't have to kill herself studying and doing homework. She loved Hogwarts, but she needed some vacation from it from time to time.

When fourth year ended and summer came Lily was ready.

Petunia had a new boyfriend and Lily just wanted to be left alone with her books and the telly she never get to watch while in school. 

Eventually she wasn't so mad at Severus anymore and the two of them hang out a few times.

However, she met a cute muggle boy named Adam at an ice-cream parlor and they went out for a few dates. 

He was cute and nice and treated her like she was the only girl in the world. She was happy and excited for the first time in a long time.

When they finally kissed, all Lily could think was "not James". So maybe she wasn't over her little crush after all.

After that she couldn't really see herself going out with him anymore. She started comparing him to James at every action. He was too nice. Too polite. His clothes were always in line and his hair was always brushed.

She had no idea how to break up with him, as summer was ending and Adam was pressure her to at least correspond with letters.

Lily in the other hand, didn't want anything to do with the boy anymore. So she told Adam that they had a great summer but that she wasn't being fair with any of them as she told him that she was still crushing on someone from her school, even though she thought she wasn't.

He was sad but still nice to her. And Lily felt relief washing over her. At the same time a dreadful feeling peeked at her: she liked James more than she could have imagine and it's been months since she saw him and even longer since they last talked.

He probably had moved on.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fifth year arrives full of surprises.

Fifth year started on a high note: Lily was a prefect. Along with Remus for Gryffindor. 

She didn't really talked to any of the boys during her summer but Marlene's family was closer to James' so she passed her the news.

It was exciting. To be a muggleborn and a prefect.

It was a proud moment for her. Even if she knew that part of the school didn't agreed with it. 

She worry about Remus' condition. Surely the long hours of prefect duty could interfere with his health, specially since he would need at least three days off during each month.

She wondered if the Heads knew about it. Of course the professors knew about it, or at least some of them. Lily imagined if it was going to be necessary for the new headboy and girl really know why Remus couldn't managed to be active a few days.

Although, Lily thought, he did had his mum's excuse. He always said his mum was sick and needed him back home, so she guessed that could do to fool the Head students.

She was completely lost on thought waiting for the rest of the prefects to arrive at the compartment they all were meeting that she didn't see Severus sitting down next to her.

It was a strange feeling being friends with him now. Even if they did hang out during the summer, even if Lily didn't feel mad at him anymore. She couldn't avoid thinking that maybe they hang out because she was bored rather than she missed him.

Because that was the truth. She didn't. 

It was a hard thing to realized and Lily blamed herself for it. However she was slowly allowing herself with the fact that maybe Severus and her couldn't be friends anyone.

She was so lost in thought that it took her a moment to realize what his presence being there truly meant.

"I didn't know you got the prefect badge." She said in a low voice as other people were arriving.

"I didn't also know you got yours." He said looking her with a hard expression.

"I must have forgot to mention, this summer ended confusedly."

"One could say that." He took a moment before speaking again. "I know you are dating that muggle boy from the town."

Lily really looked at the boy as he said it. She could feel her blood boiling inside her.  _ Here we go again _ , she thought.

" _ Adam _ ." She said. "Was a pleasant surprise on my summer." 

"You shouldn't involve yourself with muggles Lily. We have to keep ourselves a secret." He said to her.

She took a deep breath not wanting to shout at him in front of everyone. "You seem to forget that my whole family is a muggle. That your own father is a muggle. And that is a natural thing wizards and muggles share interactions."

"You don't understand the threat they can be to us. You can't expose our world to them." He said it calmly but Lily could see the vein of his forehead popping, the one that always did when he was containing his anger.  _ That boy _ . "Besides, you know how they could react, look at my father."

"Not all muggles are like your father, the same way not all wizards are the same. Clearly you know that as your friends and I are completely different people. Besides, I don't need to tell him  _ who _ I'm as soon as I met him. We were just having fun." She looked around to see that most people had arrived, except for Remus. Lily was wishing the boy would appear soon so she could ditch Severus.

"I think Potter had rubber off a lot in you. You're starting to sound like him -"

"Good." She said not looking at him

"Using people when you want and then throwing them away." He complete.

She then glare at him. Hard. "You clearly don't know James as well as you think, because he would  _ never _ do that to anyone."

She then got up and moved sits. She didn't need Remus to arrive to save her. She didn't need an excuse. She was mad at Severus and his controlling ways. Always thinking he knew better what was good for her. 

It was infuriating.

When Remus arrived though, she did made a point to say she had saved him a sit.

The meeting didn't provide them much time to talk, as the Heads were telling what were their duties along the year.

Once they were done Lily and Remus walked together to get back to their friends.

She found out that James were also given Captaincy and Lily thought it suited him well. 

When she was back on her compartment Marlene was on a roll.

"We are not even back and Potter already has a timeline of the days we're gonna practice. Morning and night!"

Mary was trying to calm her down.

"We don't even have the full team yet since he needs to do tryouts, but he has everything planned and scheduled because he send an owl to Mcgonagall asking for the field during those days for at least two months ahead."

Lily sat down and looked at the girls trying to hold a laugh. Hannah and Barbara both joined the girls while Lily was out.

"We are practicing every other day, including on sunday's morning! It's like, he is a manic and forgets we also have homework."

At that Lily felt a pain in her heart. She was sure glad to be back at Hogwarts. Back at doing magic, but she also dreaded homework.

"Wait until the term really start, he will probably realize it's too much even for him and cut some of the practices back." Lily told her friend hopefully.

 

She couldn't be more wrong.

James had run tryouts on the very first week and found himself the two missing players he needed. 

School started on James rhythm with tons of new spells and work. Not even mention the pressure of the O.W.L.s. That year was about getting better on what you were great, and getting good on the other subjects as you would need some of them to even follow with the profession you wanted.

Lily felt that was a bit weird, having to chose her profession at fifteen. What if she decides to change through the course of her life? 

She knew she wanted to work with potions, as it was her favourite subject, but what if she decides to become something else?

What if on the last year of Hogwarts she realized she wanted to be an auror? And didn't had all the subjects enlisted on her curriculum after school?

Those questions gave her a headache from time to time and Lily much prefer not thinking of them.

The simple answer was that they only had three more years in Hogwarts, two of those years would really define them as professionals. So there isn't much time to lose.

Her great distraction was watching the practices of the Gryffindor team. All the girls fell into a routine to watch the night practices before doing homework. They found themselves more calm to do it. 

Plus they started doing so they could support Marlene into enduring James' obsessiveness over Quidditch.

Also it was a great way to help Marlene get through her homework later, as she was the one exhausted all the time now. This way she wouldn't find an excuse to do them and fall behind everyone.

James was really making the team work harder than what they were used in the past. With double practices during a day, something that only occur on a difficult season.

Marlene said he wanted to shape the new recruits.

"I'm gonna run a bludger through his head." Marlene would complain. "I'm gonna steal the bat from Finnick one day and do it myself."

"I wouldn't dare touch on Potter's head if I were you Marls." Mary would say. "Lily might have something to say about that."

 

October arrived with the autumn. And Lily woke up late that morning. She stayed up late the night before patrolling the corridors and then finishing her homework. She did recall the girls calling for her in the morning, as well as she recalls she ignoring them all.

So when she arrived for her transfiguration class all of the places were occupied, except from one behind Marlene.

"Lils!" Her friend called. "I saved you a sit."

"Thanks." Lily rushed to the table. She felt a bit dizzy from the lack of breakfast. There was someone sitting beside her already. They had their head lowered on the table and their robes were covering them.

As she sat down it surprised them and they jumped. Sirius was looking at her with boring eyes.

"Remus is not here today, so you're stuck with me Red." he said in a raw voice. He was definitely sleeping. 

"No, it's fine. Remus' okay?" She said as Mcgonagall entered the class.

"Yeah, he is fine. Visiting his mum you know..."

"Alright everyone settle down." Professor Mcgonagall called everyone's attention. "Today's class will require each student to pair for the next few classes. It's a complicated subject that needs to constant practice. I will be calling random names and no, I will not accept any changes."

The whole class groaned at that. They hated being pair up.

"Very well." She looked at a roll. "Chase and Jackson." When nothing happened she said. "Move along now, go sit by each other."

She continued to call names, telling Mary to pair up with Marlene and Nathan for today as Remus was out.

When she called Lily's name her heart missed a bit. "Evans and Potter."

She felt herself moving in a autopilot mode. She gathered her things and moved to the back of the class where James was sitting.

Peter had gone and sat neatly next to Hannah.

"Hi." She said awkwardly. 

"He-" He coughed. "Hey." He had bags under his eyes as if he didn't sleep at all.

While the professor was still calling after names Lily caught the girls eyes and both of them weren't even trying to hold a smile.

It didn't take long after their vacation for Lily to confess to them that she was not over James yet. She told them about Adam and how by the end of it, everything that wasn't alike James was irritating her and everything that was alike annoyed her because only James could be like that.

It was ridiculous but both girls laughed at her telling her crush was maybe more than a crush.

After Mcgonagall explained everything they were needing to do James smiled at her.

"Done that already. We're gonna nail this assignment!"

"How in the world did you change a body part size and shape already?

"Well, what can I say Evans, I'm full of mysteries." He said with a grin with her. She was a bit caught by surprise of how easily they fall into their banter. Even after months without talking.

She grinned back. "More like full of shit." 

He gasped dramatically at her, throwing his hand in his chest. "You wound me Evans."

"And you're lying to me." She said looking at him trying not to laugh.

"I'm not lying at you. I'm omitting information. There is a difference at that." He said proudly.

"The difference that will probably get you a detention if you tell a prefect."

He clicked his tongue. "Prefect. Like you would punished me for something I've done two years ago. Without proof."

"Your confessing is proof enough. Also two years ago?" She was shocked. Two years ago meant they were third years. Wasn't James afraid of ripping himself in half trying new spells?

"Well, my dad was with me, so I can't really claim being that brilliant by myself."

"Your dad let you do things like that? Nevermind." She thought for a second. "Of course he would let you do things like that. Your mum must go insane with you two."

"First of all, I was betting my mum that I could do it. Second, my dad was only there so I wouldn't get hurt. He is the sensible one."

"Merlin's beard."

 

Lily was surprised of how good of a tutor James was. He would stop her mid-movement to correct her position on the wand so no accidents would happen. He allowed her to do any changes to his physical being as she would have liked.

The first change she made was to give him bigger ears.

"Merlin's Evans you breath like a dragon." He told her flapping his ears with his hands as if it was wings.

"As if you know what a dragon sounds like." She said looking at the book to see how to undo the spell. She didn't have to see him to know that he was grinning.

The next change she made on him was to make his lips smaller.

"I knew you were tired to listen to me Evans, but you could only have said so. I would shut up." She barely heard him saying, as the words seen to be lost inside his mouth. "My tongue is too big now, I can't breath."

"You and I both know that not only you can breath perfectly fine, but you wouldn't shut up even if I asked you to." She said as she was undoing the spell.

He mumbled something but she didn't catch what words they were. From the looks he was giving her, and how her heart was pounding on her chest, she wasn't sure she wanted to know.

They felt into a silence that was nothing like the one during their date. Lily was about to ask James what else they could change when her stomach rumbled.

"You  _ do _ sound like a dragon." He said with a grin.

She shoved him. "Shut up I woke up late and had to skip breakfast."

"Oh. Why didn't you say so?" He bend over to get his bag from the ground and started to dig something inside it. When he found it, Lily saw him holding a scone. "I always carry some extra food because Peter gets in a mood when he is hungry."

She gapped at him. "I can't take it then."

"Peter will be fine. You need it more. Can't have you starving." He picked her hand and placed the scone on top of it. "Eat it, Mcgonagall is not looking here."

So she did. She turned back to her book eating quietly because she couldn't face him. She could feel her cheeks being warm and she had butterflies inside her at how James acted to her. 'No.' She thought. 'With all his friends.' 

She was smiling at herself when he asked. "Do you think you could change the colour of my eyes?"

"That's not really the lesson here." She said but was looking again in the book to know if it had any information on it. "Why, don't you like your eyes?" She asked him.

"It's not that I don't like, but I'm curious to know what I would look like." He said in a small voice.

"What colour would you choose?" She asked looking at him now.

"Oh." She saw red spread through his face. "Something like green, or gray."

Lily couldn't help but smile at him. "You wanna look more like Sirius don't you?"

His eyebrows shot up and she could have swore that he let a breath go. But he was grinning when he said. "Brothers through and through."

She went back look at her book but found another about changing someone's eye colour, nor hair for a matter of fact. She let go on a sigh.

"Will have to owe you that. There is nothing in the book about changing colour of eyes. Nor as hairs for a matter of fact."

"Hair? Do you wanna change your hair colour? Why would you ever want to do that?" He asked her with such a surprised voice that she found herself blushing.

"Because red is an appalling colour for a hair?" She asked. "Or at least that's what several people told me."

He shook his head as he said. "Don't you ever change the colour of your hair Lily." He took a breath, as if to restrain himself. "It's gorgeous." He added in a small voice.

She was definitely blushing now. "Thank you. I like it now. But I wasn't big fan of the colour when I was younger."

"Good." He nodded. "Besides, it makes you a true Gryffindor." 

She bit her lower lip to not let the laugh out of her mouth but she wasn't successful.

"Evans, Potter. Control yourselves and do the assignment." Professor Mcgonagall called them out.

They both murmured an apology and went back to their lesson.

"I think it's your turn to turn me into something." Lily told James.

"One last one from you and I will do it." He said and she could see mischief on his eyes.

"Why do I get the feeling you have something specific to require me?"

His grin melted to a full smile. "Evans, turn me into a lion."

This time Lily made no such moves to hold back her laugh.

 

After they were done with the classes, Mcgonagall praised them both for what they achieved in the class. James had made the end of Lily's hair curl upwards into, well, lilies. And gave her a ducks peak to complete the look.

While he undo the changes he did on her, for himself he asked to keep the lion's face she gave him. Apparently he stayed all morning with it, roaring at other students in the corridors and freaking out first years. By lunch Mcgonagall had enough and undo the work as well as earned him with detention.

Lily had seen the whole ordeal and when James crossed her path, back to his normal self, he said: "Worth it." And roared one more time.

 

The following days went by so quickly Lily wondering if the professors had put a spell for time to pass faster. They barely had any free time and all they could do was to try to deliver all the homeworks they were given. 

They needed a break. Lily was starting to feel anxious with the idea that soon winter would come to the castle and they would be stuck inside. So when the first opportunity arrived, she went with it.

"Marls, wait." Lily and Mary rushed to catch up with her friend.

"Lily I'm late for practice." She said holding her broom and trying to fit her hands in her Quidditch gloves.

"Here, give me that." Mary picked the broom from her friend to allow her to finish gearing it up. 

"We are coming along this time. To watch it." Lily explain to Marls as they walked as fast as they could.

"Oh, going to enjoy James' arse on a broom are we?" She teased Lily shoving her playfully.

"Yeah Lily we saw you and James in class the other day. Adorable." Mary said twisting Marls' broom as she did.

"Oi, stop that, you will break it." Marlene picked the handle of the broom and trying to pull.

"How so? You can just  _ Reparo _ if something snaps." Mary said refusing to give her back her broom.

"Of course not! Any spell put on a broom could unbalance its own magic. Do you have any idea how much this costs? I won't have enough money to buy a new one and will have to use the school's broom and then Gryffindor will lose the cup!" Marlene's voice were pinching higher and higher as she spoke.

"Fine. Just leave the dramatics to someone else." 

As they got near the bleachers Lily could see Remus and Sirius sitting down. Not really watching the field, but there nonetheless.

"Where is Peter?" Mary asked.

"Detention." Remus replied.

As James organized the team and assemble them in positions, they fallen into silence. There wasn't much to watch really but anything to get their minds of the stress that was school right now.

"How come I don't see you guys at the library anymore?" Lily asked.

"That's is classified information, Red." Sirius said still not looking up, at a closer glance Lily could see he was trying to clean his nails with the tip of this wand. She laughed silently to herself, remembering what Marlene said, and thinking she would nominate to leave the dramatics to Sirius. He was in another level.

"Come to think of it, I barely see you guys anymore." Mary said not taking her eyes of the team. "Do you think if I throw Marls a chocolate truffle right now she could catch it?" 

"Jamie would kill you." Sirius said at the same that as Remus picked the truffle himself opening the package.

"Give that chocolate to me. Marlene will never know." Remus didn't lose any time to pop the chocolate into his mouth while Mary was gaping at him.

"You know he would kill you for calling him Jamie." Lily said in a low tone to Sirius as Mary was trying to shove Remus for eating her chocolate.

"Jamie could kiss my arse." Sirius grinned at her.

"So, any mischief you guys are doing lately? So far I haven't heard of any big prank, and it's been a few weeks since we're back at school."

"Oh you know Red, we have found ourselves rather busy these past few weeks." He said it seriously but she could seem the gleam he had in his eyes, as if what they were doing it was bigger than anything they've done before.

She pinched the bridge of her nose with the thought. "You know I'm a prefect now right? Along with Remus?"

"Of course I know."

"Then don't do anything crazy, for Merlin' sake, I don't wanna have to deal with it."

"We are not doing anything Red." Again, his voice was a steady tone but the grin he was giving her said all too much.

"Knowing you guys, I know it's a lie." She was still looking at Sirius when a ball hit the bleachers missing their group by a few meters. 

"Stop distracting my team." James barked. 

"He is insane." Remus said in a low tone. 

"Out, the four of you." James flew in their directly and popped out of his broom in a fluid movement that Lily felt jealous he could pull it off. It was so graceful. 

"You're barking mad." Sirius said to him. "We are doing nothing here, just chatting."

"You're the one who barks. Beside, Marlene keeps glancing at you and debating with Kara what made Mary attack Remus or whatever is you guys are doing." The whole team was now at their level, but far enough so it wouldn't look suspicious they were listening. "Out." James grabbed Sirius elbow and started to drag him.

"Potter, relax. We are not doing anything." Lily said, holding down her scowl.

James looked at her and she couldn't read what she saw. "I want my team to be the best while I'm captain."

Lily left a sigh out of her body and walked till she was near James who was still holding Sirius by the arm. She took his hand, releasing his grip from Sirius, but didn't hold it. "I get it, but you're already practicing way more than any other team, and if you don't give yourself and your team a slack it will drive all of your mad."

He was looking at her as if considering her words.

"Yeah Potter, we're fine, let's just have fun." Marlene yelled at them. "I know you're worried about your skills but the rest of us knows how to kick arse."

At that James broke is eye contact with Lily and she felt herself having to hold her own body up at the sensation of it. "Mckinnon I'm gonna kick  _ your _ arse to prove you wrong."

Sirius made his way back to where he was sitting. Lily also turned when James spoke. "Sorry guys." His left hand was on his hair. "Try not to look like you're all having more fun than us."

"That's your cue to make your practices be fun already." Sirius yelled as he took off. James flipped him a finger.

James did made practice fun then. Instead of over practice maneuvers they divided the team in two and played a match just for sport. When they were done, Lily could see all of them in much better spirits and she could help but beam at Marls when the girls meet up again.

"I hope that Potter gets out of his arse for good now and trust us to win the games."   

 

The following day she was packing her stuff at the end of a Potions class when Professor Slughorn called her out.

"Yes Professor?"

"Mrs. Evans dear, I have an excellent idea for you. It will definitely help you later when you apply for any internship with a potionmaster."

"Oh. What is it?" She said, thinking that it would be good to have that as an option.

"I have a student, from a very good family you see, but he has great difficulty with this subject. I want you to tutor him so he could catch up with the class."

Lily' stomach sank a bit with the idea of having to tutor someone amongst all the homework and O.W.L.S studying she was doing. But she couldn't really deny this favour.

"Sure Professor."

"Oh great. I will tell Mr. Bresser right away. Maybe start as soon as possible? After dinner, tonight? At the library? Start with the theory then move on to practicing."

Slughorn didn't gave her a chance to reply as he walked out of the classroom. Lily had no idea who Bresser was but the name sounded familiar.

 

After dinner she found herself in the library waiting for her new  _ student  _ to arrive.

"Hum, Lily?" The voice came from behind her.

When she turned and looked she found herself staring at the cute boy from Hufflepuff. He was the brother of one of prefect of sixth year, Sophie. He looked at her with shining black eyes and a tentative smile.

"Hi." She pointed at the chair beside her and waited for him to settle down before continue. "So Slughorn told me you need to catch up with the class, what year are you?"

"Fourth." He said. "I was fine until this year, then I just got lost."

"It's okay, potions can get hard sometimes." She offered him a smile and he smile back at her. The dark colour of his skin made his teeth look extra white. It was a pretty smile.

David wasn't as a problem as she thought. He actually grasped the theory pretty well, next time they would try the potions they were covering to see if can execute them better.

Lily didn't find herself bothered with tutoring him anymore because they were having fun with one another.

"Potions isn't that hard but I may need a year-round tutor." He said giving her one of his sheepish smile.

"Oh yeah? Well you do learn fairly quickly, so I wouldn't mind."

"Besides you would miss my great skin." Lily kept bothering him before to what products he and his sister used on their skin. It was flawless. 

"You still need to tell me your secrets Bresser, I won't let that go."

"You won't?"

"Nope, I will haunt you until the day you tell me how you don't seem to have any pores."

"Even if I'm in a place far, far away?"

"And letting you take my answer away? Never." 

"You know, since you're complimenting my skin so much, I should say I really like your hair." He said pointing at a lock that has fallen on top of the desk.

Lily could have swore something more was in his eyes.

"Thanks, I use a coconut shampoo for the shine. See, I don't mind sharing my secrets."

He let go of a laugh and started to pick up his books. "You know I was so scared to come here today and having to deal with some older student who thinks is better than anyone else, giving me a hard time because I'm a bit off this year."

Lily smiled at him and confessed. "I was worried too, that the student needed someone smarter to help them better."

"Really?" He sounded surprised. "You're brilliant at it."

She her skin warming up from the compliment.

"Thanks. Now let's go before Pince come at us."

 

At the next transfiguration class Lily found herself sitting at the back of the class waiting for James to show up. They were still partners for whatever assignment Mcgonagall would give them.

He was late, really late. And when he walked into the room Lily thought she had imagine Sirius dragging him inside.

"Great that Mrs. Black and Potter decided to join us today. Take your sits and no more delaying my class."

James sat beside her but he didn't looked at her once. When Mcgonagall finally finished to explain what they were doing that day it took some minutes for James to actually turn towards her.

Lily would have mind if she didn't see Sirius having a silent argument with him from across the room.

"Trouble with your bestie?" She teased him to light up the mood.

He just shrugged.

They were suppose to continue their last class but try more advanced stuff. Mcgonagall stopped at their station to explain to them that since last class they were quite sufficient with the spell, she wanted them to be more creative into changing their features to something useful, rather than an animal.

They worked in silence most of it. Lily noticed that James keep writing notes of what worked best in a journal. And Lily couldn't help her curiosity.

"Why do you keep track of what we are doing?"

He looked at her with his eyebrows up his hairline.

"Habit."

"Habit? Of what?"

"Of tracking down results." He went back to writing what he was writing.

"Where did you get this habit from?"

"My father."

"Care to elaborate?" She poked his ribs with her wand, grinning at him.

He breathed a sigh and turned to look at her once more. "My dad is a potionmaster, but not only that he likes to invent stuff. He writes down his experiments so he will know what works best. I do the same, took me a while to realize I got this from him actually."

She smiled at him. "That's quite nice. And what do you usually write?"

"Well." He grinned at her but looked like he thought it better of it. "Usually is some spell, charm or potion that worked out perfectly for a prank. But sometimes I like to record useful stuff like today. Changing your features can come in handy."

"I'm sure you will find uses for it." She said trying to read his journal from across the desk. 

"That's the plan." His hands shot up to his hair and stayed there, while he finished writing his thoughts. Lily wanted to run her fingers through it so badly that she didn't realized she was staring.

"So Evans, you and Bresser?" She only heard him because they were sitting so close to one another.

"What?" She asked.

"Saw you two in the library yesterday." He was picking a wood piece that was sticking out of their table.

"Oh, I'm tutoring him in potions. Slughorn told me that could count as something when I start to look for an internship with a potionmaster." She finally said.

"Ah." He looked up at her. "That - that's nice."

"It's nice because he actually understands the subject, if he was helpless I wouldn't know what to do."

He nodded looking at his shoes. "Sure you would."

They were quiet for the rest of the lesson. They did managed to change quite a bit of themselves but James told her that they needed to learn how to change the colour of her hair, otherwise she wouldn't ever be able to have a disguise.

"I wanted to be a spy when I was little you know. I was obsessed with this kids' book where the kids get to be the spies. So of course I wanted to be one as well."

"A spy? Really?" He asked as they were leaving the classroom.

"Yeah, you get to disguise yourself and find out people's secret. Sounded like a great adventure at the time."

"Aurors sometimes have to do that, missions where they go undercover." He said as they walked towards the Great Hall to have lunch.

"I know."

"You could still be one."

"I know."

"You don't need to be a potionmaster as Slughorn wants you to be."

She looked at him with a smile on her face and said. "I know."

 

"If you put that in is going to make an explosion." Lily was sitting on the top of a table monitoring David as he tried to do one of the many potions he needed to learn.

"Bloody hell. Good thing you're here."

They have been working hard on the past two weeks to improve his skills. He wasn't a natural in potions but he could deal with the subject easily enough once he understood what ingredients could not be mixed.

Lily was being intense with him because the fifth year was going to have several essays and exams to study on the following days and she wanted to help David first, before diving in her studies with the girls.

Also the following week they had their Hogsmeade's visit scheduled and Lily planned to stay all her saturday out with her friends.

Lily was thinking what supplies she needed to bring back of the village when David called her.

"Lily!" She focused her glance at him with her heart at her throat imagining all the bad scenarios this potion could cause when she realized everything was normal.

"Give a girl a heart attack will you."

He was laughing at her expression. "Sorry I just wanted to ask you something."

"What is it?" She was still holding her palm against her heart to try to even out the beat.

"I wanted to know if you wanna go on a date with me on the next weekend as is a Hogsmeade weekend."

From the millions of things he could have asked her, this was not what she thought he would ask.

"Oh." She knew she was blushing. David was cute and charming, and going on a date with him sounded quite fun as she liked their tutoring sessions. But she wanted to enjoy her visit with her friends this time. "I actually made plans with my friends already. Have a whole thing going on." She gave him a small smile. And if she was honest to herself a small part of her was still thinking about James, specially now that they were sort of talking to each other again. Even if he didn't sound at all interest in her as a date.

He nodded at her. "How about the next one?"

"The next?" She asked confused.

"Yeah the next Hogsmeade visit" He said looking at her with a huge smile.

"That's months from now." She frowned at him.

"So? Better guarantee now or you will ditch me for your friends again." He shot his eyebrows up twice to emphasises and she couldn't help but laugh.

"Sure, why not. Now finish your potion Bresser I want to go to bed." 

 

As she was going back to Gryffindor tower she turned into a vacant corridor except for James and Sirius. They were arguing in a low voice. Lily backed away and waited for them to go, she didn't want to get in the middle of it. Merlin only knew how this was a rare event. She still could hear them though.

"Mate, trust me, you can do it. You have to do it now or you will blow your chance." Sirius was holding James' shirt to stop him from waking away.

"Padfoot, I screw up okay? I will just - I just - I will..." He took a big breath in. "I will just get over it, eventually."

"You could try one more time, is all I'm saying. No, actually no. What I'm saying is that you  **should** try one more time. Third time's a charm."

"This would be the second." James had finally managed to loose up Sirius hold. And started to leave. Sirius followed him.

"Third. I'm counting that time in the classroom as the first."

James turned to look at Sirius. 

"That was not a date.

"Maybe it wasn't a planned date, but it was a date nonetheless. You two even kissed! I get it Prongs, but you fancy her a lot, ask her to go to Hogsmeade with you to try again."

James sighed and left him friend behind. With her heart in her mouth Lily heard him saying. "Fine. But you three will help me come up with something."

Sirius clapped his hands twice before jumping in James and dragging him away.

Lily had no idea what just happened but she knew what it meant and she have never been more relief to saying no to David.

 

Lily expected James to come talk to her for a full week but when he did it was nothing about Hogsmeade. She was starting to doubt her assumptions when one afternoon she and the girls were in the library trying to figure out a complex essay when a shy James Potter approached their table.

Her heart instantly started to throw a fit.

"Lily, can I talk to you for a second?" She never seen the boy in front of her so nervous as he looked now. She stood up and started to follow him through the isles, until he found a spot that was deserted. "I know that last term our date was a disaster and I totally get it I was a moron and got too nervous because I really fancy you and I know you told we would be mates but I was thinking that maybe we could give this another shot."

He said it so quickly it looked rehearsed. It probably was. As she gaped at him and noticing how his hair was messier than usual, his clothes was all over the place, and his eyes… his eyes were saying more than she could grasp.

"Hum, what?" was finally what she managed to say.

He took a deep breath before continue. Than another one for good measure. "Would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me?" He wasn't looking at her when he said it. He was staring at his shoes.

"You mean tomorrow?" She asked holding her smile.

He looked alarmed at her. "If you don't have any plans already."

Lily didn't really need to think before replying to him. "Yes, I would like to." 

Just the grin his lips broke into was enough for now.


	7. Chapter 7

Lily looked at her reflection in the mirror and wondering if she should change her blouse one more time.

"You look fine!" Mary said throwing a pillow at her. "Is not like he hasn't seen you dressed with your pajamas drooling in the couch on the common room."

"I honestly doubt that Mary, I don't usually go around with my bottoms like you do." Lily said throwing the pillow back at her friend. Unfortunately a wild Marlene had got in the middle of them, while trying to get to her trunk.

"Wonf, dammit you two!" She picked the pillow and thrown back to Mary's bed. "For your information Lils, Potter did see you drooling on the couch last year, when we had that girls night, where Black sold us his secret staff of butterbeers, and we then went to the common room playing exploding snap until Remus came to collect us, saying we were being too loud at four in the morning."

"Yes, as you said, Remus was the one who dealt with us." She once again was looking at herself in the mirror.

"But before him coming down, it was James who got downstairs to check what the fuss was all about." Mary said with a satisfied smile. "Told us to keep it down because no one wanted to deal with Remus' anger if we woke him up."

"Remus is a bunny, he would never yell at us." She was playing with her hair now, seeing if she put up on a ponytail or not.

"Actually, he was pretty pissed." Marlene said laughing. "He bloody scared us enough to carry your sorry arse up the stairs."

"I recall dragging my own arse, thank you very much." Mary was behind her now, wand in hand curling the end of her hair.

"Whatever, my point is, Potter doesn't care if you are wearing a sack, he would still snog you." Marlene was pulling something out of her trunk while she said it. "But I reckon you probably should wear this."

At that she threw her own gryffindor scarf on Lily’s bed. "Why would I wear a scarf? Is not even that cold!"

Mary and Marlene looked at each other failing both to hold down their laugher. "Oh I don't know Lily, maybe you should take it, in case there are some love bites you'll want to hide."

"Oh, bloody back off the both of you!"

Lily looked one more time in the mirror, and decided she was good enough. She had woken up earlier that morning, a little too agitated to sleep, so she did the only thing she could think of, and started to get ready for her date.

She wasn't nervous this time around, she already knew what the worst case scenario could be, so this date could only get better. At least she hoped.

When she finally left her room to go meet up with James by the school's entrance, she saw him moving from one side to another, talking about something she couldn't hear while Remus was slightly nodding and holding a smile.

When she was near enough, James saw her coming and he stopped immediately.

"You came!"

"Yes, of course I came, I told you I would."

"I know, but I thought you would give up on the idea -  "

"Hi Lily. Mate, I'm going, it seems like you don't need me anymore." Remus walked past Lily, entering back to the castle. "We're going to be on the Three Broomstick around noon, so if you screwed up again you know where to find us." He called back.

Lily couldn't resist but laugh.

"Oh yeah, laugh at the poor bloke who has to face you in a date."

"And what's that's supposed to mean?"

"Just that you're bloody brilliant and I'm a certified moron around you."

She felt her cheeks burning before she managed a reply. "That's why the last date was a disaster?"

They started walking towards the village. Their hands kept brushing but neither moved to hold hands yet.

"Yeah, I was so nervous." she heard herself laugh. "Why did you agreed to go out with me again?"

Before she could say anything, he continued. "Don't get me wrong, that's bloody fantastic, but I couldn't believe you've said yes for the first time, and then you surprised me and said yes for the second."

"And why did that surprised you?"

"Well, to be honest, I didn't think you even liked me as a mate. We don't exactly talk. And..."

"And?"

"And I know you're close to Sni- to Snape."

She thought about that for a moment. "Even though I don't approve of how you lot treat one another, there isn't much I can do, is there? You will just have to get used to it."

"Used to what exactly?"

Damn her traitor mouth and her red hair genes. She went all red too soon, again!

"Used to me being friends with him and me dating you."

"Oh… So I get a second date?" He perked up.

"This is your second date Potter."

"True Evans. You didn't give me an answer, though. Why did you agreed to go out with me again?"

"Well, it couldn't be worse than the first time right?"

"I can see fifty seven ways that could be worse."

"Fifty seven? Give me one as an example."

He paused for a minute, with his hand brushing his neck. "We… could die."

She laughed at that. "You play quidditch on a daily basis and you think a date would be harmful enough for us to die?"

He gaped at her. "I will let you know that quidditch is a perfectly safe sport."

"I remember you being unconscious by the end of the game in at least three matches since you've joined the team."

"Counting are we?" She didn't need to look at his face to know he had a grin on it.

"More like Marlene's complains, since she always has to compensate for your lack of presence."

He laughed.

"True, Mckinnon is the one to suffer. Besides, I was fine. Look at me." He stepped aside and made a grand gesture with his hands. "I'm fully functional to be at your service." He gave a little bow.

She took a moment to reply to him, narrowing her eyes with her hand at her chin, playfully thinking. "Definitely those bludgers on your head did something. I will report to Madame Pomfrey at once." She made a turn but his hands were faster and grabbed hers. Damn his quidditch reflexes.

"I will let you do that once we are back from our date." They both stared at each other a bit before falling into a laugher. He didn't let go of her hand as they started to walk again.

"So, what are we doing today?" Lily felt pretty good so far, swigging their hands as they went.

"Thought maybe we could go to Three Broomstick grab a butterbeer. Visit some shops to get supplies."

"Yes, I need to go to Scrivenshaft's."

"And I need to go to Zonko's."

"No surprise here. Then what?"

"You will see." He half glanced her a smile before leading her through the main street.

"Oh-oh, should I be concerned?"

"Let's hope not."

The date was going smoothly. James seemed more comfortable than he was the last time they went out, making Lily laugh from time to time. She liked his stories, even though he was embellishing them, she could tell he was trying to impress her. And she wasn't minding at all. 

Lily knew the boys sometimes did stupid pranks, but knowing how those pranks could actually happen was quite interesting.

"I get it now how you can go so well on the classes."

"What do you mean?" He asked her with a butterbeer mustache on. Lily wondering if she could feel the taste of it if she kissed it clean.

"You guys actually have to do an amazing job with magic to make the pranks work, so if you can pull those off, it's clear that you could easily keep up with class."

He grinned at her, she could see him blushing tho. "It's not traditional magic, but I'd like to think as a fun approach to learning. We actually have to do extensive research sometimes."

"I've always wonder what you four did so much in the library."

"Nothing good, usually." As he drank more of his butterbeer, more foam went into the mustache. Lily couldn't handle her anymore, as she grabbed a napkin and cleaned it herself.

They stared at each other for a second before James started shrieking with laughter. "Did you just cleaned my lips? Merlin's beard Evans, give the bloke a notice next time."

"I'm sorry!" Lily could feel her warm rushing to her cheeks. "I just didn't think."

James' laughter didn't stop, as he intertwined their fingers. "It's okay, really. But next time I wouldn't use a napkin." His grin indicated what he meant.

She tried to shoved him in protest which only ended up getting close to him.

"Do you mind? There are people here who are trying to have a good time. But you two are making me nauseous." Sirius was standing in front of their both, taking a sip of his drink, completely amused with what he had seen, yet, not meaning a word of it.

"Fuck off mate." James scoop closer to Lily and put his arm around her shoulders. "We were just fine before you came."

"Were you now, maybe you two should look for a less crowded place."

"Sirius?" 

"Yeah Red?" 

"Bugger off." 

Sirius sighed. "Good luck with your date Prongs." And at that Sirius left them both alone again.

"Prongs?" Lily asked curious to know what that meant. James actually blushed, but he had a grin stamped on his lips.

"He is just being a  _ dear _ ."

 

As the butterbeers were finished, they went into a couple of stores to get what they needed. James stopped by Honeydukes and brought some peculiar taste of chocolates.

"It's my mum's favourite. I always send them to her when I can."

"They don't seem that delicious."

"Oh they're not, but she loves them. What can you do?"

He also got some other boxes he claimed it was for Remus to  _ tame the beast _ when they wake him up by mistake.

"I can not imagine Remus being angry. He is so composed." Lily looked around to see if she could find their friend, but he was nowhere to be found.

"Try step on his tail to see what he would do to you." 

Lily had a faint idea to what James was referring to. Severus had said to her plenty of times his theory that Remus was a werewolf, Lily had always had her doubts, thinking it was just a way for Severus to try to scare other students. But as Lily and Remus shared their time with prefect duties, she observed things up close that she didn't see it before.

James was not the person to discuss this, though. Well, at least not now, before she could be a little more sure. And before she talked to Remus herself. Or before Remus talked to her first, as she didn't want to put him in any uncomfortable situation.

When mid afternoon arrived, James said it was time for her surprise. Lily wasn't expecting anything like that but it looked like James had prepared himself this time.

They walked hand in hand the whole time and he was taking her towards the edge of the forest. Lily tried to make him say what it was, however, James wouldn't budge. 

They kept walking for a while going deep in the forest that circled the village. Eventually they've come to a cave that made Lily froze on her spot.

"You don't mean that we're going inside that cave?" 

"Just trust me on this Lils." James said pulling her hand slightly.

Shaking her head in disbelief she walked towards it, James falling on a step being her. The cave was dark at first but as her eyes adjusted Lily could see the shine of crystals and a hidden waterfall by the end of it.

It took her breath away. "Oh James." She couldn't take her eyes away from what looked like the night sky of stars.

"I knew you'd like it." He had stopped right behind her, she could feel his breath brushing the back of her neck. His fingers gently traced her arm making her turn to see him.

Her heart was beating fast as she looked at the boy in front of her. She couldn't believe how her day was going. She gave a step cover to him making their bodies touch as never before. The tip of her nose bumped on the tip of his and she could feel his arms circling around her waist.

"How did you find this place?" She whispered at him, as if her voice could ruin the magic of that place.

"My mates and I have the tendency of explore things."

"I know."

"A lot of people miss out the most beautiful things in Hogwarts because they only see what they're told to see."

Lily wasn't even sure she was listening to him anymore. This moment was so intimate and she wanted nothing more than to spend it kissing him. 

"I don't understand how people seem to never be here, I mean, I get that is a bit far away from the village but still it's worth the trip." He kept talking, looking between her lips and eyes.

Lily smiled as she felt her insides turn into butterflies. "James." She caress his face trying to call his attention.

"Yeah?" His voice was so low she could see he was holding himself back.

"Will you kiss me?" She bumped her nose against his again.

He gave her a grin and closed their distant.

Lily had never felt so enlightened as she did while kissing the boy she liked. It was different this time, not so awkward as before.

She had no idea of how long they stayed in that cave but once they were out they had missed the curfew to be back from the village.

Lily thought she should freak out about it but she couldn't care less. Hand in hand with James she felt like she was on the moon.

He sneaked them both through a secret passageway that left them behind the statue of the fifth floor. She knew the boys had ways to leave the castle but she never thought it was that easy.

She didn't want her day to end at the same time Lily couldn't wait to tell the girls all about it.

"I'm guessing this date went well." James said as both of them walked towards the Gryffindor tower.

"I guess it went." Lily bit the inside of her lips to hold the smile she so wanted to give.

James pulled her closer to him and kissed lightly at her neck. "It was not my intention but I think you will have to use a scarf on the following days."

"What?" She looked at him confused.

His finger traced the spot he had just kissed her, a wild grin on his lips. He nodded her towards where his hand was resting on her neck.

"Are you kidding me?" Her hand batted his away as she tried to feel the bruise he had left on her. "Stop laughing!" She gave him a slight shove and started to rush the stairs to get through the painting.

"Is not that bad Evans, I promise." James was following her as easily as if he has done it for years. "Are you mad?" He pulled her to look at him, concern written in his eyes.

Lily sighed. "Not at you. Merlin's beard the girls are going to be so smug." She crossed her arms and pouted at him. He let go another laugh.

She shoved him again getting inside the tower.

"You better keep your lips away from my neck from now on." She whispered at him as they entered the room together.

He put his arm around her shoulders hiding the spot he just marked on her. "Won't be making any promises."

She rolled her eyes at him but barely stopped her inside from melting.

 

The girls were waiting for her by the fire with the boys, as soon as they see the two of them walk in the room they got up in a rush and dragged Lily up the stairs demanding the details of her day.

Lily never felt so content in a while. Wishing she was still with James in that cave.

On the next day James was waiting for her at the end of the stairs that connects to the girls dormitory.

"Hey Evans." He flashed her a grin, holding one of her hands and kissing her lightly on the cheek.

Lily could hear the girls that were still going down whispering of them as they passed.

"Hi. What are you doing here?" 

"Waiting for you."

"Clearly, but why?"

He only looked at her from a moment before tugging her out of the room towards the Great Hall. He let go of her hand as soon as they fall into a step together. "I wanted to talk to you."

"Okay. About what?" Lily held her elbows as they walked, not knowing what to expect from him.

"The thing is -" One of his hands went to grab on his hair making a mess of it until it stopped behind his neck. "I wanna know if you wanna -" He coughed. "No."

"No?" She asked confused.

"I mean." He took a breath closing his eyes. 

"James." Lily grabbed one of hands to call for his attention. "You can tell me anything."

He nodded at her but didn't really looked at her. 

"So tell me."

He took another deep breath but it was Sirius, coming behind them, that said. "He wants to know if you wanna go to another date."

Both of them turned to look at their friend. James looked like he was about to hit him. Lily laughed, causing James to look at her in despair.

"That was really it?" She asked.

"And he wants to know if you wanna be his girlfriend." Sirius said pushing them apart as he crossed to continue walking.

"Mate, I'm going to kill you." James said walking behind Sirius lifting his hand as Sirius looked at him rather bored.

"James." Lily called him but it wasn't enough to stop at his track. "James." She tried again as both boys were tangled on each other, bags fallen on the ground, not caring about the scene they were doing.

"Leave them Lily, it will take a while." Remus spoke behind her making her jump. He smiled at her apologetically. "Come on, let's eat something before we get late to class."

Lily didn't see James so soon after that, he arrived late for their first class along with Sirius, both looking like a mess, Sirius rocking a black eye. 

The whole time Lily kept thinking if what Sirius had told her was really what James wanted to talk to her. Sure their date had been nice but maybe that wasn't what James wanted at the time. Lily wasn't even sure what having a boyfriend meant and she was lying to herself if she told herself that she didn't want to find that out with James.

Finally when they had Transfiguration they could sit together and Lily could ask him about it. At first he looked awkward around her but she gave him a smile and that seemed to calm him down.

"So, how did you managed to give Sirius a black eye?"

"It wasn't me. It was Peter, he tried to pull us apart and the spell went wrong. Hit Sirius pretty bad but hit Peter harder, he is at the Hospital Wing."

"You can't not be serious." She asked horrified. 

"No. I'm James."

She rolled her eyes and hit his head with her quill. "Is it true then?"

His eyebrows frowned. "What is true?"

"What Black said this morning?" She asked, a grin spreading at her lips as she saw his dark skin getting flushed.

He coughed. "I mean-" He coughed again. "I don't know."

This time Lily was the confused one. "You don't know?"

"I mean, I do know, it's just-" He looked around them to see if anyone was listening.

"What's the matter?" She held his hand that was flying towards his hair.

He closed his eyes but moved his body to face her. "I mean, yeah, it was basically that. I wasn't going to ask you that bluntly but, yeah. It's true what Sirius said." He still had his eyes closed.

Lily let out a tiny laugh. "I'm okay with it."

The wild eyes he gave her were enough for her to have to bite her lips to not started laughing so much McGonagall would sure give them detention. 

"You're?" He asked her is disbelief. "I mean, you're okay with going to another date? Or being my girlfriend? I mean, you don't have to be my girlfriend if you don't want to. I'm fine with whatever you want."

"But you do want me to be your girlfriend?" She amusedly put her head on her hand that was resting at the back of her chair.

"Eventually, yeah."

"Eventually?" She sat straight not so amused all the sudden.

His hands flew in front of it shaking. "I mean, I do want you as my girlfriend, at a time that is alright with you." Lily could see the whites of his eyes grew bigger as he said.

She grinned at him. "I'm okay with eventually being your girlfriend."

His body instantly relaxed. "Yeah?" He gave her a grin.

"If by eventually you mean from now on."

"Now on?" He was getting closer to her, his grin only growing.

"As in starting now." She could see his looking at her lips as she said it.

"I like it."

"Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans!" Professor McGonagall's voice made them both jump. "We're not at M adam Puddifoot's, so you better start your assignment or I will give you both detention."

Lily could feel her skin burning all over and as she closed her eyes to not see her fellow students grinning at them she heard James laughing beside her, not at all worried.  _ Bastard _ .

 

"Have you no prudence?" Severus asked her as soon as he met up her up at the library to study. "First you go to another date with  _ Potter _ and now you don't mind that you are in a classroom anymore?"

"Severus we were just talking."

"That was the problem. You're mixing yourself with people like him, it will affect your life in a way you will regret it. I know it. Listen to me and stop whatever idiocy you're doing with him." His words were quiet but Lily could see his hands shaking holding the quill. He was definitely angry. He wasn't looking at her in the eyes.

"How many times I have to tell you that what I do with James is my own business?" 

"I'm just being your friend and telling you the truth. He will ruin your life." He wouldn't stop looking at her neck. Realization made her blush and she hated it. She would not feel guilty for a little snog mark.

"The only one ruining my life is you annoying me at all times. Nothing I ever do is good enough for you, I don't know why I even bother."

At that he was taken aback. Lily started to gather her things and move tables on the library, not being able to study with him anymore.

"Look Severus, you're my oldest friend, I get that you feel like you need to look out for me every time, but some things you need to let it go."

"And Potter is one of them?"

"Yes, you just need to live with it. Do you think you can do it?"

He took a moment to answer her. Lily would see him biting the inside of his cheeks as if holding back what he really wanted to say to her. "You know we don't get along."

"So you want me to choose between you two?" One of her eyebrows arched, defying him.

When he didn't reply to her, she picked the rest of her things and left. Leave that boy to sort things out himself.

**Author's Note:**

> Come chat with me on tumblr: bow-dawn.tumblr.com


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